The NEW eSA Onion - newspaper of Deus Ex

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Vote Deus Ex for Mayor of Mmabatho!

10 • Day 273, 14:39 • Published in South Africa

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It's true, friends, under the Black Lion Front Deus Ex is running for mayor of the glorious city of Mmabatho! CHANGE is the fundamental ingredient that all of South Africa needs right now and I believe I am the man to do it. A vote for Deus Ex and

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Why Jizzie Doesn't Smile Anymore.......

30 • Day 268, 01:48 • Published in South Africa

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My friends (and enemies....), what you are about to read is the very true and tragic story of one of our fellow countrymen who was stranded behind enemy lines following our recent war. I want to make it apparent that there is no racism, sexism, … read more »

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Bong Belly Produces First Food for Hungry eSouth Africans!

5 • Day 262, 03:36 • Published in South Africa

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Yes my friends, the new Q2 Food Cooperative BONG BELLY has produced our first stock to feed the starving South African populace. We are striving to produce the cheapest Q2 food in the world and are exceeding quite well although our initial operating

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eSouth African Haiku

12 • Day 258, 19:09 • Published in South Africa

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The New Onion would like to take this opportunity to encourage more artistic expression about daily life here in eSouth Africa. And what abetter way to express ourselves than by the gentle and soothing art of Haiku? While under occupation by the

5

Kaja K Foods Under New Ownership! Skilled Employees Needed!

2 • Day 256, 17:19 • Published in South Africa

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I have recently purchased the formerly foreign-owned food company Kaja K as part of my plan to liberate the eSA economy from foreign influence. However, we are in dire need of Food workers with skill 2.0 or above as this is a Quality 2 company. Help