Recanting: An Apology

Day 1,835, 07:20 • Published in Canada USA • by Derphoof

At the risk of being the virtual Mitt Romney, I have the following message to announce:

I have deleted my previous article and left the party I just created...

Why?

Because I honestly couldn’t do it. I can’t lead a party based on criticizing others. Its just not who I am and my own blindness to that truth got in the way of that. I am an extremely empathetic person. Unlike others who may criticize, troll and lambast others, I don’t really have the heart to do that. While a troll may not care what they say or who they say it to, I do care. There are people behind each one of those avatars out in this game. In Fact, one person may be behind several avatars! These people are men and women of all different ages. They come here to this game for various reasons. They may be here for friends, for a getaway from the harshness of everyday life, for strategic fun, or because it might make them feel important.

So who am I to ruin it for them?

I feel for the people behind those avatars when I say anything critical of someone else. It hurts. When people say negative things about me, it hurts as well. Is it inevitable that people will throw out harsh criticisms? Perhaps. I know that when I am criticized it gives me a drive to do better. I have had harsh unreleased articles responding to criticism that I never published because I didn’t have the heart to do so. But Canada had long been plagued by nasty voices and over-the-top roleplay. I fought against it to “Create a more positive Political Sphere,” just as the CPF taught me to do.

With my earlier decision, I added to the negativity...

So I took a step back, and checked myself. I felt sick after publishing that article. Physically. Sick. I knew that it wasn’t the right decision. After all, this was going against everything that I had fought for. So basically, I just need to get back to my roots. I don’t need to sink any further.

I largely betrayed the trust of those i held close to me. They were people in the CPF, UPC, CW and elsewhere. To go back, I know that they may not accept me. I’ve spent the larger part of 6 months building up that trust. In one second, I practically tore most of it down.

Yet, I have to go back.

Its where I belong. I feel a sense of loyalty to those who gave me my start, those who have supported me, and those who have continued to support me. The CPF has been my party for my active eLife. I put a TON of time and effort into that party. I put out articles about the tenets and I watched it grow from a party of about 60 to a party of about 150. It has been a bastion of positive and progressive politics.

So back I go, if they will have me.

- So am I weak? Go ahead and portray me as such.
- Was it stupid? Sure, I’ll admit to it
- “Actions speak louder than words. I'm curious what EPDs words amount to this time.” Sure, my words didn’t really amount to anything positive. My words led to inner remorse and turmoil. The only really positive things were the articles from CW and UPC.
- Was it a waste of 40 gold? Meh, I couldn’t care less about gold right now.
- Will my opponents use this against me? Will I be lambasted? Of Course. I would have easily avoided it by standing by my decision. However, sticking with a bad decision and carrying it through doesn’t make it the right decision. Instead, it just makes me look foolish.

So I apologize to those whom I have offended in CW, UPC, and CPF. I’ll have to do a lot to regain your trust. It’ll be a long and hard road. I also apologize to those of whom i dragged with me from other parties on this venture. To be caught up in this and then suddenly told it was the wrong choice was a terrible thing to do on my part. It is part of why I am seeking to rectify the situation sooner rather than later.

A house divided cannot stand. I should not work to divide the nation, I’m the CP. Even if people think that some of the criticism is deserved, I don’t care. Perhaps the criticism was needed on some level. However, I’m not going to involve myself in the antics that divide Canada. I know the difference between constructive criticism and destructive blathering. I did some destructive blathering. My efforts are better served in helping my home party of the CPF, and working behind the scenes to help others, rather than tearing down other parties.

So do I want to look like a flip-flopper, or the guy who is too blind to see his own mistakes? I’d rather be known as the one who made a dumb mistake, recognized it, and switch back, rather than the one who is too stupid to see what he’s done. So I’m abandoning that which I have created and moving back to CPF.

With that said, I am still going to run for CP. I don’t care if Jacobi runs, wants to run, or does anything of the sort. I’m going full steam ahead. In fact, you can find my article here.

Now, we’ll see what happens.

In Humble Remorse,
ElPatoDiablo