[MoHA] Official Government Recommendations for Party Presidential Elections

Day 2,886, 00:03 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by Hail Astrid


Hello eUK



As an official government agency, it is not MoHA's place to tell the sheep common man how to vote. However, I have never been good at maps.

Election time is an exciting time in the eWorld. Smear campaigns, false promises and general tomfoolery often take place, and the common man can often be duped into voting in a leader who does not know what's best for them. Thus, as the eUK's leading ministry in providing you with the information you deserve, but not the information you need right now, I have taken the liberty of providing official government guidelines in regard to who to vote for in the upcoming Party Presidential Elections.



| TUP

MoHA wholly endorses that you do not vote for either of the available candidates, as they are both active and capable citizens. Combine that with the fact that an active TUP is a dangerous one, it is every TUP members' civic duty to skip this election and continue two-clicking.

| UKPP

MoHA officially sanctions King William the Great as the UKPP's rightful leader and true king, on the basis that he has said so several times, so he must be right. Please refrain from voting for Mad Pauly, as he may actually produce intelligent and witty articles if he is elected PP, and we cannot condone this reprehensible behaviour.

| UKRP

MoHA, after much deliberation, has decided upon Sir Winston S Churchill as the UKRP's new leader. He has demonstrated Nostradamus-like powers when he predicted that Appleby would do nothing during his term, and, miraculously, Appleby did not do anything during his term. In trying times like these, Winnie's supernatural powers will surely come in handy. MoHA hopes that you do not make the foolish choice of voting for WookieO, primarily on the basis of hairiness.

| BDP

Little is known about the ultra-secretive cult known as BDP, even to spies within the MoHA. Therefore, we, uh... don't know what to say. Vote Prince Harry?

| WRP

MoHA insists upon Rafay Ahmed being the next WRP PP, solely on the basis that I'm pretty sure the WRP PP seat has a permanent a** groove in the shape of AMD's bottom by now.

| ESO

In perhaps the tightest election battle of the season, MoHA hopes that you vote Mr Cherry in as PP, solely so that he can say that he "popped his cherry". Heh, heh. Do not make the mistake of voting Popovic as it was revealed recently that he is not running for ESO presidency, but rather ESP presidency. And also he's running for Dictator soon, and he should not be burdened with the weight of carrying ESO (Domesticated male yaks can weigh between 350 and 580 kilograms) as well.

| PCP

Yeah you really don't have much of a choice. At all. One candidate. Has eCommunism come to mirror real life communism?!

| The Real Spamicans

One candidate as well!

| The Techno Party

A one-candidate election! Skrillex did not die for this!

| Tory Party

YOU HAVE ZERO F*CKING CANDIDATES



It is believed that with the right combination of leaders, the eUK will finally achieve its true potential and become full potato. Hopefully, by following the instructions above, you, too, can break free from the confines of the human condition and gain inner peace as a starchy carbohydrate.

Thank you and eat rice

Hail Astrid
Minister of Hail Astrid