Wealthy Protest Hospitals/Aliens Attack!

Day 497, 23:27 • Published in Norway Norway • by Maximilia

(Note: This "newspaper" is a gossip rag. It's meant for entertainment purposes only. For the real news for eNorway, check out the The Technocratian and Meningsbladet.)

Wealthy Protest Substandard Health Care in Ostlandet

Our headlining story today concerns our capital city, where much of the higher class of society live. They were spotted sitting outside the hospital in Ostlandet protesting the substandard health care found within. Up and down the streets, limos and temporary villas clog traffic as the servants of the "upper crust" shuffle back and forth in a line outside the four-star rated hospital carrying signs with such slogans as: "The Rich deserve to be healthy too!" and "Everyone deserves a hand-out."

Buffy von Rich, an heiress from the area, told our reporters, "The peasants over... there..." she said, waving vaguely towards the north, "...have a five star hospital. FIVE STARS. Here in the Capital, we're only four-star rated. It's outrageous! How dare they not give us the best health care affordable! We're the ones paying their salaries, after all."

Alien Invasion!

The vampire invasion of Hungary just a few weeks ago sent the country reeling. However, a new threat is on the horizon: aliens. The small, grey creatures were spotted around the countryside, kidnapping hapless campers for their awful experiments!

One survivor said, "Well, it was small... but it had BIG teeth, and were very ferocious. It could bite your face right off!" Another camper reported that the creature 'had tentacles around their mouth-area', and yet a third reported antennae, like what one would see on insects above their beady little eyes. The creatures were found roaming aimlessly around the forests of eNorway, leaving small round "death pellets". When people attempted to approach them to greet them peacefully, the aliens fled into the forest, only to reemerge at night... to strike!

Government officials have officially poo-poohed the notion of aliens from space kidnapping citizens. We have included an artist's rendering of the creature, which was shown to the minister of defense. "Are you (expletive deleted) blind? That's a (expletive deleted) rabbit!"

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