Join the new world

They say he was foolish. They say he should've never became president. They he should've gone with a different tactic. Bradley Reala had long been accused of foolishly acting in the recent war since only days after his presidency began.

Critics wrote articles about it, few Americans supported him. Without American support, his enemy swept the land, and they called out Bradley, attempting to impeach him for his horrible tactics during the war. The enemy appeared everywhere, and no one could put up a fight against them.

America was devastated- the enemy took down a massive chunk of America's economy, and the US and her allies would never be the same.
Who are these enemies? Not the British.

A couple Brits on their way to work.
Not the French

For the subs.
Hell, not even evil robot cyborgs

I see this everytime I go to sleep.
OUR ENEMY IS NONE OTHER THAN THE INFAMOUS COMMA

Snaky Bastard
That's right. The commas have taken our media. They have taken our states. They have taken our resources. They have appeared in states such as California, USA and Karnataka, USA.
BUT NOT TO FEAR, THERE IS ONE PLACE WHERE COMMAS DO NOT APPEAR
Hehe, that rhymed...
Anyway, I find that spambots do not normally use commas, and I also have reason to believe they are immune to the dastardly enemies. Here is a recent spambot message I have found in the comma-ridden wasteland #eus has become:
10:14 come2findu selling q5 artillery 100 100 10 40 for 3.2 gold each a5 tanks 100 75 35 40 6 golds each q5 helis 100 100 10 40 8.5 gold each PM me
Notice how he has no regard for commas-he doesn't want you to tell each part of the sentence apart, simply to deflect comma-use. He is a true American, and I think everyone should follow his example. But not everybody can be a spambot, so I would like to brief everyone on ways to protect yourself from commas.

Speak Short Sentences
Generally, speaking short sentences and repeating them always helps. Many short sentences only have one idea, so you coul get by without commas most of the time. If you want to express multiple thoughts, please use periods.
here is an example of a short sentence:
Damn
Here is an example of a group of short sentences:
Damn. That chick is so fat. lol.she needs to lose weight. Wow. What a fatty. Do you think I have a chance?
See. That wasn't so hard. Was it? It looks perfectly fine. Also. Taken out of context. Those sentences look pretty weird. Just to clarify. I was talking about Rosie O'Donald. So it's cool.

Talk in all caps
Talking in all caps is a great way to avoid proper grammar. With the convenience of not having to press shift. You are opening up a whole new world. In this world. Power comes not from money. But from convenience. You feel the rush. The adrenaline. Your primal instincts set in. You feel the first blood of the hunt. You are powerful. Caps lock is your strength.
Do America a favor. Turn on your caps lock, and skip commas for convenience.

Move to Canada
Obviously. America is not safe. We cannot fight the commas. But we can get rid of them. We simply move to Canada and attract the commas there. Once the commas are in Canada. We move back. And the commas are thus the problem of moose.

OFFICIAL STATEMENT BY BRADLEY REALA ON COMMAS
The Troll Times asked Bradley Reala about his view on commas.
The Troll Times: Do you have any suggestions for Americans to fight commas?
Bradley Reala: What the hell are you talking about?