Shock! Horror! Welsh Dissident takes on Ninjas

Day 843, 15:52 Published in United Kingdom Ireland by 1nterestingch4racter

After discovering that the only reason the gulag had been so friendly in letting me have a look around was so that they could detain me, I fled and ended up getting lost in the Welsh countryside. Typical, I thought. I come all the way out here for nothing, and then to top it all off, it started to rain. After trecking across moors for three hours, I managed to find my way to a small country road.



A small tractor pulled up, and a very angry farmer started shouting at me in Welsh, gesturing a lot with his shotgun. I was alarmed but managed to gauge that there was a wild vampire on the run, and that it had been targeting the farmer’s sheep and sucking them of blood. Anyway, he reckoned that the gulags were in fact asylums being used to hold the criminally insane, and that the government were to blame for allowing one of their psychotic patients to escape. Still, I wasn’t going to enlighten him as it seemed to have put him on a very anti Gov stance, something which worked in my favour, and he said I could stay in his barn overnight. Even if it did mean taking a ride in the back of his tractor with vamped out sheep.



I awoke the next morning in a dizzy haze and amongst great confusion. The barn doors were kicked open and the world around me exploded into flames. The sound of marching boots and barking commands brought me back to reality and left me facing the full might of Unity Stormtroopers, a paramilitary group who weren’t known for their love of civil liberties. I was dragged out into the courtyard and thrown into the dust alongside the poor farmer, who was coughing violently and had taken a severe kicking. The Stormtrooper commander sneered at me and raised his pistol. As he fired, a shape leapt in the path of the bullet, absorbing the full force of the bullet. AltmerVampire collapsed to the floor, purple blood seeping out of his wound. The commander laughed harshly, raised the pistol and fired again. Dead Man’s Click.



All of a sudden, AV leapt back up onto his feet and began to ravage our oppressor. When he had finished with him, he threw him to the floor and turned to face the remaining soldiers. They emptied their rounds into his body in vain, his vampire powers being too awesome to comprehend. Whilst this distraction was going on, me and David (The Welsh Farmer) snuck into the StormTrooper truck and hastily drove off. As I drove frantically, David armed himself with weapons from the stash in the back, and proved his skill with a gun when the government sent one of their experimental helicopters after us. His well placed shots tore through the fuel tanks and it went plummeting towards the ground.



As we came into London I found the streets around my apartment blocked by People’s Militia. Winding down the window with a sinking feeling in my heart, I asked one of the patrols what was going on.
“Something about an exploding sheep mate, sorry. Also, we’re going to have to confiscate your truck, property is theft and all that”

Filthy Commies.



We then had to rush across London on the ridiculous public transport system, with buses taking hours forcing us to abandon them and pay through our noses to use the underground system instead. As we reached Buckingham Palace and sprinted towards the historic gates, a swarm of Japanese ninjas, disguised as tourists, appeared and seemed intent on blocking our route. To my amusement David started talking to them in Welsh and when they were looking up what he had said in their guidebooks we sprinted past and I sliced through the giant padlock like it was butter using a knife I had stolen from a ninja.



“Quick David! We need to tell the king what’s going on!” I called out as we entered the gigantic hallway of the Palace. As we got in the lift and the door closed, the palace was hit by a power cut (possibly orchestrated by our enemies) and we had to climb up the lift shaft for 4 floors. Once out, we were utterly exhausted. As we approached the throne room, the ninjas re-appeared. Groaning, I prepared for a fight but it turned out they only wanted to ask David what language he was speaking so they could buy a guide book. Throwing open the doors, I rushed head first in, expecting to see the king. Instead, there was only an old butler who told us that King Stephen was staying in Windsor overnight.


Typical.


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IndieKid