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Once in a while, we here at the D'Arcy McGee Herald get an idea for a satirical article, and depart from the more serious issues at hand. This is our latest inspiration:

Late last night, the Members of Parliament from Newfoundland, Sir DeLaShaunRon Smith and Octavian F, informed Prime Minister William Duncan of their defacto secession from the Dominion of Canada. The youngest province in our Confederation, they gave the D'Arcy McGee Herald their reasons for leaving:

1. We never felt an acceptance among the older members of Confederation - Newfie jokes being our chief complaint.
2. Our frustration with Quebec - In 1995, we were so excited! When they were voting on whether
to secede from Canada, we actively campaigned with them. You can't understand how
frustrated and utterly disappointed we were when we realized we were not going to get a common border with Ontario.
3. We now have the economic ability with all this oil revenue we have, to be independent of everyone else. And with all this oil, we can fly to anywhere in the world to be a committed EDEN ally against all the world forces of imperialism.
4. We were one of the gateways to eCanada for invading armies. We were ALWAYS one of the first regions, if not the first, to be conquered. If we left eCanada, we reasoned that would never happen again.

However, Sir DeLaShuanRon Smith wanted to make it clear that they still considered Canada a great friend, a mentor, and ally. In fact, to prove their military loyalty, immediately after their Declaration of Independence, they issued a Declaration of War against the Hungarians.

Octavian F then provided us with this transcript of their conference telephone conversation with the President of Hungary, raszta.

Day 738, 2😇0 eRep Time
Octavian F: Hello, President raszta?
raszta: Yes, this is me.
Octavian F: Well, I am Octavian F, and my friend and I, Sir DeLaShaunRon Smith, are the elected representatives of Newfoundland. We are no longer part of Canada, and we have decided to declare war on you.
raszta: Is that so?
SirDeLaShaunRon Smith: Yes, we even have a Lieutenant to lead us into battle!
Raszta: One Leiutenant? Hmmmmm. Did you know that I have 18 Field Marshalls ready to kick your butt?
SirDeLaShaunRon Smith: Really? Well, clearly, we'll have to think this over. We'll have to call you back.
One Hour Later
Octavian F: President raszta, we have done a thorough search of our new nation, and discovered that we also have 1 Seargent ready to aid our Lieutenant in battle!
Raszta: Umm, I think I should let you know that I have 607 Generals who await my every command.
Octavian F; That's a lot of Generals. We'll have to ponder this and we'll get back to you.
Two Hours Later
Sir DeLaShaunRon Smith: Mr. President Sir, we've rounded up almost all of our citizens - we have 45 Privates ready to storm through the gates of your Presidential Residence.
Raszta: Oh, did I forget to tell you I have 968 Colonels?
Octavian F: Wow. You do impress us with these numbers. We're gonna have to have a serious discussion about this, and we'll get back to you.
The Next Day
Octavian F: Mr. President, after a discussion with our closest advisors, we have decided it's best if we call this war off.
Raszta: Well, I must say - I am suprised. Your resolve had impressed me. What convinced you to do this?
Sir DeLaShaunRonSmith: Well, President Raszta, when we considered that you had 1593 high ranking officers in your army, we calculated we do not have room to imprison all your men in our prisons.

We here at the D'Arcy McGee Herald would like to thank Octavian F and Sir DeLaShaunRon Smith for this exclusive they have given us. Remember, you heard it here first! The D'Arcy McGee Herald - a trusted source in eWorld News!