Mesiah and Hero Given Proper Recognition
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by ZironiaInc
eSouth Africa is once again in trouble,as the bulk of the eCroatians and the Theocrackers have left.This is indeed a very serious matter,as the natives of eS.A are surely in no position to rule their own country...I mean,they couldn't appreciate all the good the zockysts did(helping one company building defense systems) and they sure as hell didn't realize the grandeur of the Theocrat's plan for this small nation.
There is however hope for us yet,as eleven days ago, a messenger returned to get us out of the mud we were bathing in and if you haven't guessed who I am talking about I'll make it clear to you right now,I'm talking about Stryker...Keanu Stryker.
I strongly believe that he has been heavily underrated by all of us,now I don't want to be one to divulge such important information in the newspaper,but after watching his activity both in-game and on the forum,I have come to the conclusion that Mr. Stryker is God's Right Hand.Following Keanu's philosophy I will not give any details about this finding, nor will I answer any questions regarding this matter,regardless of how many people ask.
Here is a list of things that Keanu Stryker would have accomplished were it not for the intervention of the Devil's little helpers(*hint*Ryan-Dagari-Taylor-Sawyer *hint😉
:
-Father of our Constitution: In fact he had already written it when it was stole by R.D., who later gave it to T.S. so that he could gain some undeserved recognition.Shame on both of you!!!!
-Savior of our economy: During the Croatian occupation he was close to saving everyone by miraculously turning the defense system he was building into food and gifts for everyone,again his plan was thwarted by the evil SAIL.
-Rightful ruler of eSouth Africa: he is the founder of the Stryker dynasty,which is destined to rule eS.A for all eternity,however the Devil's agents are many and this project seems to have faded.
But that's enough for the past,He is back!!!And again he is willing to save us all.He comes as a purification,as a bright flame that will instill fear in the hearts of those who dared oppose him in the past.People! Look beyond his bovine gaze and his poor grammar,you will see the Pearly Gates if you look deep enough.
I believe it is our duty to build a temple in which we can properly give praise to his name.
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Comments
This is idiotic. Stop using your organization to promote yourself.
🙂) you do realize this is a pamphlet,right?
and that I am not Keanu Stryker.
Yes, lets all celebrate he who ran away from eSA in a girly "I hate you all" hissy fit, he who feels he is entitled to rule the nation and subjugate the people to his "all knowing" will rather than work for the people, he who turned his back and left eSA to rot during one of its darkest hours instead of working to help our nation survive...
I must say, thank you for that piece of comedic relief. 🙂
Oh, it's Siroe. My mistake. But seriously... what's with this dumb article??!
Just poking some fun at Keanu Stryker.
You seriously didn't catch the sarcasm in it, Brendan? xD
Reading it again it could've been either highly sarcastic or actual seriousness.
You'd have to be stoned out of your bloody skull to seriously consider Keanu Stryker a hero.
Hey everyone stop getting on his case please, the guy did apologize and some of us around weren't too civil either, so give him a chance please.
He apologized?
I was one of the few who tried to get him to stay the first time and when he came back to the eSA forum this time, I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. Both times he reverted to his "I did everything for eSA, the Croats and Theocraps are great, and everyone hates me, woe is me" line of argument and calling me negative for just asking him to clarify what he said. The guy is impossible to deal with.
I was reading it and for the first half I was like, this writer is a dumbass. Then when it came to the points...
You got to the points and...
You have to be retarded to consider SAIL and most people involved heros either.
"You have to be retarded to consider SAIL and most people involved heros either."
Nobody said they were heroes. No one here is that arrogant.
Mr. Stryker is the only hero deserving praise that I know of.
You have to be retarded to consider SAIL and most people involved heros either.
You spelled heroes, horribly wrong
SAIL doesn't even exist, it hasn't been around for... quite a long time, many months actually...
No one in SAIL thinks they are better than anyone, its just that SAIL was the only idea anyone ever implemented.
I don't care about anyone's sarcasm, I don't like Keanu. If he deserves to be a messiah, its the messiah of the god damn Zockyists, and is a hero of the Theocrats.
I dunno, I kinda liked everyone's sarcasm. And all this talk about heroes (or is it gyros?) is making me hungry, but I still don't get why anyone would want to be a sandwich. I guess you would have to be retarded if you thought some people were a bunch of sandwiches.
Maybe Keanu learned Messiah 101 from his close friend and mentor Zocky, AKA The Beloved.
-Father of our Constitution: In fact he had already written it when it was stole by R.D., who later gave it to T.S. so that he could gain some undeserved recognition.Shame on both of you!!!!..
I'm glad that was sarcasm. =.=