Finnish Crosses to the Rescue!

Day 503, 17:09 • Published in Norway Norway • by Maximilia

(Note: This "newspaper" is a gossip rag. It's meant for entertainment purposes only. For the real news for eNorway, check out the The Technocratian and Meningsbladet.)


Finnish Crosses to the Rescue

In a surprising revelation, the old government of Norway and the Finnish government were working together to prevent the vampires of Hungary from harvesting the fair fjords of Norway!

Yes, dear readers, as revealed in other newspapers it seems that the priest of Finland are not taking this invasion lying down! They have organized free crosses for every civilian to protect themselves, and their garlic planting in anticipation of a big harvest have gone through the roof! Why are they doing such?

"Well, the Finnish people are traditionally very conservative," said a leading expert in the field of Mythic Zoology, "and they don't agree with the staying out all night and glutting on blood of vampires." There's still some confusion among the masses as to whether the vampires are Hungarian or Romanian, but the color of their eyes can tell you which nation they are from.

Of course, experts warn against getting too close to them as the likelihood of survival is less than one percent.

The editor of the Axe also offers an official retraction of the previous article, "Hungarian Vampires Pillage Norway's Lands", in light of this new information.

Ask Ragnar

Dear Ragnar,
I have a question: who is Cirno?
~Some Person on the Street (who is totally not a communist)

Dear Not-a-Commie,
Cirno was our best chance of having a good pillaging year! Now that that's right out, I might have to actually work!
~Ragnar

~*~Have you got a question for Ragnar? Leave a comment below or write Ragnar directly in care of the editor!~*~

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