Exlcusive Interview!
Day 471, 19:34
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Published in USA 
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by
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by Hari Michaelson
---Letter From The Editor---
Article spam FTW.
- Editor-on-the-Edge
Hari Michaelson
---
In case you haven’t noticed the pair of cold, dead eyes staring at you as you go about your daily two-clicking, Plato has come to assist the frightened and confused citizens of the New World. Whether or not he does anything beyond frightening and confusing them more is still up for debate, but also falls outside the bounds of this article. No, today I’m here to introduce you to the man behind the name.
That’s right readers, we at The Muckraker were clever and sneaky enough to sneak up on, and drug, Plato, which has allowed us to provide you with this exclusive interview. *Note: I would like to personally offer my utmost condolences for the three interns we lost in this operation. Believe it or not, it’s quite hard to sneak up on a man who never blinks, and whose eyes follow you ceaselessly. No one could have predicted that Plato would be so well-versed in Muay Thai, or that he would have been so resistant to the chloroform.
Q: So, Plato, if that is your real name, what exactly are you doing here in the New World? Why do you think the Admins brought you into being?
A: A lack of food leads to starvation!
Q: Hm. Quite. Well I suppose we all have our own demons to face. Now that we’ve covered the issue of your origins, how do you feel you fit into this new world?
A: I will always stay by your side, watching out for your best interests.
Q: Yes, yes, but don’t you think this frightens the young citizens who you claim to “help”?
A: As long as you allow me…
Q: Ah. Still though, you can’t deny that you stare at us far more than an elderly bearded man should. Moving on, let’s address some more recent issues. We’ve seen a recent outbreak of hostilities across the New World. Seeing as you have the ear of many a new citizen in your clutches, what is your opinion on this?
A: I urge you to take part in the great combat. Fight as many times as you can.
Q: A war hawk I see. What about the loss of life and chaos?
A: In eRepublik, you cannot perish in war.
Q: Now you’re just speaking nonsense sir. Johnson, are we sure the chloroform has worn off?
A: Dreams create realities, through hard work! You are in the right place at the right time to take advantage of your opportunities. You can minimize me!
Q: Ugh. This guy’s gone. Ok, you two, put his clothes back on and drop him off in the forums. And may God have mercy on his soul. Anything you’d like to add Plato?
A: I have nothing more to say at the moment.
---
The Muckraker: [WITTY SEND-OFF #0000010003 NOT FOUND]
Article spam FTW.
- Editor-on-the-Edge
Hari Michaelson
---
In case you haven’t noticed the pair of cold, dead eyes staring at you as you go about your daily two-clicking, Plato has come to assist the frightened and confused citizens of the New World. Whether or not he does anything beyond frightening and confusing them more is still up for debate, but also falls outside the bounds of this article. No, today I’m here to introduce you to the man behind the name.
That’s right readers, we at The Muckraker were clever and sneaky enough to sneak up on, and drug, Plato, which has allowed us to provide you with this exclusive interview. *Note: I would like to personally offer my utmost condolences for the three interns we lost in this operation. Believe it or not, it’s quite hard to sneak up on a man who never blinks, and whose eyes follow you ceaselessly. No one could have predicted that Plato would be so well-versed in Muay Thai, or that he would have been so resistant to the chloroform.
Q: So, Plato, if that is your real name, what exactly are you doing here in the New World? Why do you think the Admins brought you into being?
A: A lack of food leads to starvation!
Q: Hm. Quite. Well I suppose we all have our own demons to face. Now that we’ve covered the issue of your origins, how do you feel you fit into this new world?
A: I will always stay by your side, watching out for your best interests.
Q: Yes, yes, but don’t you think this frightens the young citizens who you claim to “help”?
A: As long as you allow me…
Q: Ah. Still though, you can’t deny that you stare at us far more than an elderly bearded man should. Moving on, let’s address some more recent issues. We’ve seen a recent outbreak of hostilities across the New World. Seeing as you have the ear of many a new citizen in your clutches, what is your opinion on this?
A: I urge you to take part in the great combat. Fight as many times as you can.
Q: A war hawk I see. What about the loss of life and chaos?
A: In eRepublik, you cannot perish in war.
Q: Now you’re just speaking nonsense sir. Johnson, are we sure the chloroform has worn off?
A: Dreams create realities, through hard work! You are in the right place at the right time to take advantage of your opportunities. You can minimize me!
Q: Ugh. This guy’s gone. Ok, you two, put his clothes back on and drop him off in the forums. And may God have mercy on his soul. Anything you’d like to add Plato?
A: I have nothing more to say at the moment.
---
The Muckraker: [WITTY SEND-OFF #0000010003 NOT FOUND]
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Comments
that was pretty funny i liked it great job... and i voted for it
You should subscribe too. Otherwise we'll molest Plato.
That's really funny. Voted.
i love it! you are one of the funniest epeople i've met! one question i have to ask...WHY did you take off his clotes? were you afraid he would get his robes stuck in the escalator?
Well, in the rush of chloroform and the multiple felony kidnapping, we figured he might try to strangle us with his robes and well...
...Plato doesn't wear anything underneath those things.
I already subscribe, or I'd subscribe again.