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====😃ay 2381 | May 28, 2014=====

DENVER, Colorado - Breaking news straight out of Denver today in a recent press conference created by the Food and Drug Administration. The FDA announced the total recall of 12 million packets of Wowza! Foods steak. This is the company's second major recall determined by the FDA, and it's last. The company is undergoing harsh economic fines by the U.S. Government, and is going under criminal investigation by the U.S. Government. Furthermore,Wowza! Foods has been fined 450 million US Dollars. 4 people reported symptoms of food poisoning after consuming the steak. Eaters of the steak reported bloody diarreha and intense vomiting. Ecoli has been one of the most dangerous forms of bacteria to ever infect the food industry, as the FDA has been battling it for several years now. It is reccomended that all buyers of the steak from any part of the cow, return it back to Wowza! Foods, as info can be found on their website. Meanwhile, news companies and competetor food companies have been looking at former information about the company, and a lot has come out. Wowza! Food's first trouble came in the year 1989 with a salmonella outbreak in their pork, causing the death of over 30 people within several cities, and the injury of over 500. The incident brought salmonella to national news, and pressured the FDA to take more extensive action on salmonella. The next incident came at 2002 with a problem of Hepatitis A on their green onions. 12 dead, over 500 hospitalized. The most recent incident, not even a month back, was the sugar packet-ricin incident. Meanwhile, Wowza! Food's stock went from 14.32 dollars from 2 weeks ago, to 3.44 dollars today.

ACWORTH, New Hampshire - A quiet peaceful morning in Acworth, New Hampshire was disrupted today after a massive white shock and a burst of sound came. The U.S. Department of Defense, in a private chat with our newspaper, confirmed the burst was indeed a bomb. The bomb was a atomic bomb detonated by a Canadian in U.S. territory, most likely to attempt to create a battle over New Hampshire. Meanwhile, the nation of Canada stated that the bomb was detonated by a rogue citizen, rather then a government associate. 670 out of the 860 citizens were killed completely at the impact, while a additional 150 were under intense radiation and are suspected to die within 1 week to 3 monthes. The timeline of the bomb dropping went from the initial drop, most likely by a rogue citizen who rented out a plane, at 9:17 AM, to the announced death toll at 5:23 PM. As of now, the entire town of Acworth is under military occupation, trying to scavange and find dead bodies.

ATLANTA, Georgia - The Socialist Party takes control of the town council today, marking the first major control of a town by a publically socialist political wing. Today the votes were officially counted, which gave the Socialist Party a 23 percent lead over the Federalist Party, their second largest opponent. The party president of the Socialist Party stated "We are overjoyed and glad that the people are opening their eyes to the glorious cause of socialism!"

KANSAS CITY, Missouri - Through a undercover investigation by the FBI, it was revealed today that undercover drug rings have been operating under Kansas City for years, and have thrived under this specific opportunity of the earthquake. A massive meth lab was found underground a suburban home and traces and clues sent the FBI to several other meth labs. Soon enough, the economics and the severity of the drug rings opened up, and the FBI launched a full investigation. Not all information has been released as of now, but the Post-Standard will be here to report them when it does come out.

BAKERSFIELD, California - Senior citizen Broc Haverbord died today heroically at the age of 86. When Haverbord saw a person, approxamately 16 years old, that person was standing on the edge of a bridge. Haverbord quickly dashed over to the side of the bridge to comfort the man. The man was suicidal, so Haverford took action. Haverford quickly went to his car and took out his handcuffs which he claimed as a retired police officer, and handcuffed himself to the man. He hoped the man would be too scared to jump. Unfortunately, the man was not too scared, and he jumped. The power of the jump was too strong to undo by the 86 year old man, and he fell off the bridge with him. Haverford will be missed by his friends and family.

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That's Day 2381 | May 28, 2014