Day 2379 | May 26, 2014
Day 2,379, 07:55
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Published in USA 
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by
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by Normand X
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BOISE, Idaho - Terror strikes the citizens of Boise as 3 are found dead in a car, arms severed off of the bodies. The 3 dead have most likely been part of the murders of a dozen of people in Boise over the week. The citizens of Boise are worried that they may be next. The string of murders have been given credit to a man known as "The Dark Knight". By CCTV cameras and other means, it was decided that the man was known as Karl Vay. Vay's house was raided upon finding out, and Vay was not present at his residence, or his neighbohood. It is suspected that he is in the city and he is armed and dangerous. All citizens are asked to call 911 if you see Vay, for information leading to his arrest will recieve 500 thousand USD. Vay is around 6"1 with blond hair and dark brown eyes. It is reccomended by the Boise police department that you hide indoors upon seeing him, and call 911 immediately.
TOLEDO, Ohio - Thousands of acres of crops destroyed today as a locust plague descends upon the farmland around Toledo. Hundreds of farmers paniced as a massive locust cloud waded towards them. Farmers have decided overwhelmingly to let their crops die, rather then spend the capital on defending their crops from the bug. The situation has deteriorated to such a point, that the U.S. Federal Government had to take extensive action to go onto farmer private property, and manually spray down the crops so millions of dollars in food would not be lost as a result of this locust. The major provider of insurance, Farms United is expected to suffer some massive revenue losses, as Farms United is the primary provider of insurance for most farmers in Toledo.
BOSTON, Massachusetts - Federalists in the city rally, as several top Federalist national leaders gave speeches today in the Boston Public Garden. The rally was unexpected, as at a random point in the day the Party President of the Federalist Party started giving a speech, which was soon followed by the Vice President of the party. Soon, mass media started to take over and the rally was the number 1 most trending thing online. Once the mass media was involved, Television stations flocked to the sight as if it was a pilgrim mass. Hundreds of news reporters went to the scene to beg for a interview with the Party President. The rally was peaceful, with one slight incident at approxamately 12:43 as a man tried to climb upon the stage with the Treasurer giving a speech, and was quickly pulled off the stage, and was thrown punches at. The man was quickly arrested and prosecuted. Once the rally ended, several Military Party members tried to hijack the rally by getting on stage, and some succeeded by spreading their message through rageful speech. But by that time, the rally had fizzled down to just a collection of rageful Military Party Members and debating Federalists, including the occasional Libertarian.
KANSAS CITY, Missouri - Kansas City gets a very welcome gift from SEVILLE, Spain, their major Sister City. Seville sent around 50 seperate air cargo ships to Kansas City filled with food and drink. Hundreds of people ran to the airport at the sight of the airplanes in the sky, due to pure curiosity. All 50 planes landed safely, and started to unload the food and drink in massive crates. Thousands of citizens ended up gathering at the airport, to scavange what they could get of the remainding amounts of food and bottles of milk and water. In other news, a vigilante group known as "Guardian Angels" have been created to patrol suburbs and the metropolitian area. Their membership has ballooned to approxamately 4000 citizens.
MEMPHIS, Tennessee - In the day before, we, The Post-Standard, reported on some very controversial comments made by congressman Samuel Buster of Tennessee. Today, in light of the recent comments, he has resigned. In immediate reaction to his resignation, "Gay-Busters" have opened up in bars and parks around cities in Tennessee, celebrating his resignation. In a tearful resignation press conference, Buster stated "...I have held my office in the highest honor and esteem for years, and if this is how it ends, this is a very shameful way to end... I further find it reprehensible that the liberal media would take a quote so out of context... I am personally disgusted that the media would use my quote as part of a coordinated butchering campaign against traditional conservatives..."
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That's Day 2379 | May 26, 2014
😃ay 2379 | May 26, 2014=====
BOISE, Idaho - Terror strikes the citizens of Boise as 3 are found dead in a car, arms severed off of the bodies. The 3 dead have most likely been part of the murders of a dozen of people in Boise over the week. The citizens of Boise are worried that they may be next. The string of murders have been given credit to a man known as "The Dark Knight". By CCTV cameras and other means, it was decided that the man was known as Karl Vay. Vay's house was raided upon finding out, and Vay was not present at his residence, or his neighbohood. It is suspected that he is in the city and he is armed and dangerous. All citizens are asked to call 911 if you see Vay, for information leading to his arrest will recieve 500 thousand USD. Vay is around 6"1 with blond hair and dark brown eyes. It is reccomended by the Boise police department that you hide indoors upon seeing him, and call 911 immediately.
TOLEDO, Ohio - Thousands of acres of crops destroyed today as a locust plague descends upon the farmland around Toledo. Hundreds of farmers paniced as a massive locust cloud waded towards them. Farmers have decided overwhelmingly to let their crops die, rather then spend the capital on defending their crops from the bug. The situation has deteriorated to such a point, that the U.S. Federal Government had to take extensive action to go onto farmer private property, and manually spray down the crops so millions of dollars in food would not be lost as a result of this locust. The major provider of insurance, Farms United is expected to suffer some massive revenue losses, as Farms United is the primary provider of insurance for most farmers in Toledo.
BOSTON, Massachusetts - Federalists in the city rally, as several top Federalist national leaders gave speeches today in the Boston Public Garden. The rally was unexpected, as at a random point in the day the Party President of the Federalist Party started giving a speech, which was soon followed by the Vice President of the party. Soon, mass media started to take over and the rally was the number 1 most trending thing online. Once the mass media was involved, Television stations flocked to the sight as if it was a pilgrim mass. Hundreds of news reporters went to the scene to beg for a interview with the Party President. The rally was peaceful, with one slight incident at approxamately 12:43 as a man tried to climb upon the stage with the Treasurer giving a speech, and was quickly pulled off the stage, and was thrown punches at. The man was quickly arrested and prosecuted. Once the rally ended, several Military Party members tried to hijack the rally by getting on stage, and some succeeded by spreading their message through rageful speech. But by that time, the rally had fizzled down to just a collection of rageful Military Party Members and debating Federalists, including the occasional Libertarian.
KANSAS CITY, Missouri - Kansas City gets a very welcome gift from SEVILLE, Spain, their major Sister City. Seville sent around 50 seperate air cargo ships to Kansas City filled with food and drink. Hundreds of people ran to the airport at the sight of the airplanes in the sky, due to pure curiosity. All 50 planes landed safely, and started to unload the food and drink in massive crates. Thousands of citizens ended up gathering at the airport, to scavange what they could get of the remainding amounts of food and bottles of milk and water. In other news, a vigilante group known as "Guardian Angels" have been created to patrol suburbs and the metropolitian area. Their membership has ballooned to approxamately 4000 citizens.
MEMPHIS, Tennessee - In the day before, we, The Post-Standard, reported on some very controversial comments made by congressman Samuel Buster of Tennessee. Today, in light of the recent comments, he has resigned. In immediate reaction to his resignation, "Gay-Busters" have opened up in bars and parks around cities in Tennessee, celebrating his resignation. In a tearful resignation press conference, Buster stated "...I have held my office in the highest honor and esteem for years, and if this is how it ends, this is a very shameful way to end... I further find it reprehensible that the liberal media would take a quote so out of context... I am personally disgusted that the media would use my quote as part of a coordinated butchering campaign against traditional conservatives..."
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That's Day 2379 | May 26, 2014
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I don't get it. Random bland fake RL news or does it relate to something?
Where's the tax protests and peace marches?
Actually, if you read some of our former articles, we do cover peace marches and anti-war rallies, as they have happened. But there are not that many tax protests.
By the way, the JP Red Star Gazette reported that while the Feds and Mils were bloviating in the Public Garden, much to the consternation of the folks enjoying the tulips from the swan boats, the Socialist-Freedom movement was holding a "Black Sheep Rave" event across Charles Street, over in the Boston Common, where there was much merriment and musical goings-on, culminating in a Second Line winding its way down to Kings Chapel, at which point everyone involved agreed a good time was had by all and now it was time for a refreshing frappe.