Canadian Congressman Calls For Nation To Unify In Support of Edmonton Oilers!
Day 6,043, 17:27
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Published in Canada 
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by
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by Stamp
Our top story:
As the Edmonton Oilers compete to bring the Stanley Cup back to Canada, a private member’s bill to support them was brought before the Canadian E-Congress earlier today. Here is the speech that was delivered by Congressman Stamp*:
Greetings esteemed colleagues of the Canadian E-Congress! Today I would like to introduce a private member’s bill to the House!
But before I begin, I just want to take a moment to congratulate Kippers on another successful presidential election. I call on all E-Canadians, no matter who you voted for, to support Kippers as our President, and to find areas where we can unite and work together to achieve common goals.
On that matter, one thing that unites Canadians all across the country is their love for our national sport of Hockey. So with the Edmonton Oilers about to compete in the Stanley Cup finals and hopefully end our nation’s 31-year Stanley Cup drought, I would like to suggest that all E-Canadians rally behind Canada’s team and support the Oilers! Let’s come together as one and set aside old differences!
And what better way to do that than by liberating Alberta?
Let’s do something special and free the Edmonton Oiler’s home province from its occupiers! We’ll then have a double reason to celebrate when the Oilers defeat the Florida Panthers and win the cup!
Support Private member Bill-C69, also known as the “Liberate Alberta 2024 Act”.
Story #2: Canadian Presidential Election Results
There was nothing shocking about the Canadian presidential election, the only thing that was shocking was how non-shocking the non-shock wasn’t. President Kippers won another term in office with a decisive victory over TynoMonster from the Libertarian Party. The results at press time were 40 votes for Kippers, 21 votes for TynoMonster. With a population of 199 citizens, voter turnout was 30.6%.
Story #3: Political Update & Statistics
At the time this issue went to press, Canada is ranked 49th out of 74 countries in the E-Republik world, moving up the rankings by 6 spots since our last issue. (Take that, Switzerland!)
Canada is ranked 39th in population, unchanged since last reported. Canada controls 8 regions, and 6 of its 13 historical regions are occupied by other E-Nations.
* (Full disclosure: Congressman Stamp is the publisher and editor of The E-Republik News Network)
Be sure subscribe to The E-Republik News Network for more breaking news stories and to hear the latest statistics!
As the Edmonton Oilers compete to bring the Stanley Cup back to Canada, a private member’s bill to support them was brought before the Canadian E-Congress earlier today. Here is the speech that was delivered by Congressman Stamp*:
Greetings esteemed colleagues of the Canadian E-Congress! Today I would like to introduce a private member’s bill to the House!
But before I begin, I just want to take a moment to congratulate Kippers on another successful presidential election. I call on all E-Canadians, no matter who you voted for, to support Kippers as our President, and to find areas where we can unite and work together to achieve common goals.
On that matter, one thing that unites Canadians all across the country is their love for our national sport of Hockey. So with the Edmonton Oilers about to compete in the Stanley Cup finals and hopefully end our nation’s 31-year Stanley Cup drought, I would like to suggest that all E-Canadians rally behind Canada’s team and support the Oilers! Let’s come together as one and set aside old differences!
And what better way to do that than by liberating Alberta?
Let’s do something special and free the Edmonton Oiler’s home province from its occupiers! We’ll then have a double reason to celebrate when the Oilers defeat the Florida Panthers and win the cup!
Support Private member Bill-C69, also known as the “Liberate Alberta 2024 Act”.
Story #2: Canadian Presidential Election Results
There was nothing shocking about the Canadian presidential election, the only thing that was shocking was how non-shocking the non-shock wasn’t. President Kippers won another term in office with a decisive victory over TynoMonster from the Libertarian Party. The results at press time were 40 votes for Kippers, 21 votes for TynoMonster. With a population of 199 citizens, voter turnout was 30.6%.
Story #3: Political Update & Statistics
At the time this issue went to press, Canada is ranked 49th out of 74 countries in the E-Republik world, moving up the rankings by 6 spots since our last issue. (Take that, Switzerland!)
Canada is ranked 39th in population, unchanged since last reported. Canada controls 8 regions, and 6 of its 13 historical regions are occupied by other E-Nations.
* (Full disclosure: Congressman Stamp is the publisher and editor of The E-Republik News Network)
Be sure subscribe to The E-Republik News Network for more breaking news stories and to hear the latest statistics!
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Comments
Good stuff man.
Lets Go Oilers!!!
We Want Cup!!! We Want Cup!!! We Want Cup!!!
I will allow it.
Isnt that what you say to Tem before he slips you some sausage
Only if he buys a drink first.
[removed]
Is it too late to move the Oilers to North Dakota? The Canadian curse seems to be continuing.