Breaking News: ATLANTIS' Growing Concerns
Day 466, 19:35
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Published in USA 
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by
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by Hari Michaelson
---Letter From The Editor---
This news is breaking.
- Editor-on-the-Edge
Hari Michaelson
---
Breaking News:
ATLANTIS Expresses Concern Over eAmerican Attack on eMexico, eRomania Invades Several Regions In Protest
In light of the eUS' recent decision to launch an attack on eMexico, many membernations of the ATLANTIS alliance expressed growing concerns about the messages sent by the attack. The most dramatic of these was the outright protest expressed by eRomania in the form of multiple declarations of war, followed swiftly by the annexation of over 7 soveriegn regions into the nation's borders.
"The imperialistic actions taken by the eUS, and their kommendant of a "President" Uncle Sam are despicable" a high-ranking eRomanian official was quoted as saying in reponse to the three-pronged eAmerican offensive. Although he provided further commentary, our field reporter was unable to hear his commentary over the sound of the official's tank driving into the newly captured region of Kraplakistan. Regardless, the multiple rounds of celebratory cannon-fire shot in the celebratory enemy hospital was a clear indication of the anger that the eRomanian's hold for imperialism, in all its forms.
"If there is one thing that ATLANTIS and its membernations will not abide, it is the invasion of free nations, and the expansion of a nation's borders outside of its original territories," remarked another eRomanian, leading a long line of former Kraplakistanis to their new homes he jokingly referred to as "sardine tins".
"Not to mention," added his companion "they owe us all 100 GOLD for not telling us well in advance". The eRomanian was unavailable for further commentary as he and a crew of eRomanian soldiers marched beyond the Kraplakistani/new eRomanian border, informing the locals that they were now at war with, and captives of, eRomania.
*Further information from the area is unattainable, as our field reporter and his crew were the subjects of an eRomanian declaration of war immediately following these interviews. Their whereabouts are unknown as of print time 19:34
---
The Muckraker: Condensing hard to read text walls into awesome run-on sentences.
This news is breaking.
- Editor-on-the-Edge
Hari Michaelson
---
Breaking News:
ATLANTIS Expresses Concern Over eAmerican Attack on eMexico, eRomania Invades Several Regions In Protest
In light of the eUS' recent decision to launch an attack on eMexico, many membernations of the ATLANTIS alliance expressed growing concerns about the messages sent by the attack. The most dramatic of these was the outright protest expressed by eRomania in the form of multiple declarations of war, followed swiftly by the annexation of over 7 soveriegn regions into the nation's borders.
"The imperialistic actions taken by the eUS, and their kommendant of a "President" Uncle Sam are despicable" a high-ranking eRomanian official was quoted as saying in reponse to the three-pronged eAmerican offensive. Although he provided further commentary, our field reporter was unable to hear his commentary over the sound of the official's tank driving into the newly captured region of Kraplakistan. Regardless, the multiple rounds of celebratory cannon-fire shot in the celebratory enemy hospital was a clear indication of the anger that the eRomanian's hold for imperialism, in all its forms.
"If there is one thing that ATLANTIS and its membernations will not abide, it is the invasion of free nations, and the expansion of a nation's borders outside of its original territories," remarked another eRomanian, leading a long line of former Kraplakistanis to their new homes he jokingly referred to as "sardine tins".
"Not to mention," added his companion "they owe us all 100 GOLD for not telling us well in advance". The eRomanian was unavailable for further commentary as he and a crew of eRomanian soldiers marched beyond the Kraplakistani/new eRomanian border, informing the locals that they were now at war with, and captives of, eRomania.
*Further information from the area is unattainable, as our field reporter and his crew were the subjects of an eRomanian declaration of war immediately following these interviews. Their whereabouts are unknown as of print time 19:34
---
The Muckraker: Condensing hard to read text walls into awesome run-on sentences.
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Comments
I hope this is a joke.
@Guud Basher: Of course it's a joke.
I'll let you know when I stop giggling.
I want to add more, but I can't think of anything good.
@Hari: It was a good place to end it. It's all good.
Romania cannot hold us to not informing anyone.
First, they are guilty of the same thing.
Second, it basically was our media for the day before it was proposed.
I doubt any money is going to be passed, it's all talk.
However, and I tried to express this in the article, I find it ridiculous how much scrutiny we face and how much flak we recieve while eRomania goes completely unwatched.
haha pretty good article, voted
Evan, I'm trying to figure out if you understand that this article was comprised entirely of satire and falsehoods.
Hari Michaelson, your paper is full of lies and deceit.
I should have gotten you as a staff writer for the Picayune! Blast!
haha you've got an amazing writing style Hari. I'm waiting for more. Voted + Subscribed.
votado y suscrito mi hombre mexicano
I only speak enough Spanish to get myself kidnapped.
But I think I understood that one.
Yeah, but only because the servers crashed from all the hypocrisy.
>If there is one thing that ATLANTIS and its membernations will not abide, it is the invasion of free nations, and the expansion of a nation's borders outside of its original territories," remarked another eRomanian
Rofl. This article is hilarious
A good satire... but seriously, the international opposition to this seems largely based on RL prejudices. It's okay for Romania, Norway, Pakistan, Iran and Indonesia to become unapologetic empires here because it would never happen in the real world. But the US? Now, that's downright immoral. Let the sanctions begin. We're all going to the Hague for war crimes.
"A good satire... but seriously, the international opposition to this is largely based on RL prejudices."
Fixed it for you.
And you hit the nail on the head by the way.
This article reminded me why I subscribe to the 'raker.
The 'raker.
That's so damn awesome.
Although I don't think this is going to get read, I would just like to say that my catchphrase for the week is going to be
"ATLANTIS can cram it"
until further notice.
Great Article!
I saw it in my head like some 50's news real.
@Bryan: Pretty much the effect I was going for. It's essentially a take off of The Onion's style.