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The Old Cowboy is sick of hunters trampling his fences and having to constantly round up his strays.

One day, when on a long ride to the back of his fall pasture, he comes upon a hunter. Not just any hunter, but damned if it wasn’t the biggest damngun toting redneck piece of dung you’ve ever seen.

The old cowboy moseys on over and gets off his horse. “Hey, who the hell are you, and why the hell are you on my ranch?” Says the old cowboy.

“Well” says the hunter, “I’m hunting ducks, and I got me one right here”, he says, showing off his recent kill.

The cowboy walks up to the big man and stares up into his face and says, “Son, up here we have a rule. If it’s shot on my land, it’s my duck. However, I’ll set a bargain out fer you. I’ll kick you in your ass just as long as you can hold out, then you can do the same to me. Whoever lasts longest, can walk away with the duck, no hard feelings.”

The hunter considers a minute and then says, “Ok, deal. Who goes first?”

“I do, since it’s my place,” Says the old man. And he proceeds to kick, and kick, and kick some more, just as hard as he can, square into the ass of the big man. Finally, after a rough ten minutes of kicking, his old legs just give out and he stumbles over to his horse.

Groaning and rubbing his ass, the big hunter says, “Hey, where you goin old man? It’s my turn now!”

The old cowboy turns just before mounting his horse and riding away and says, “Nah, you keep the duck, I don’t like ducks anyway.” And rides away, leaving a big hunter with a sore ass lying in the field.

And the moral of the story?

Don’t you go trusting any old Eden folk. And let ‘em keep the duck.

Dutifully submitted,



You still here son? There ain’t no naked lady.