Americans, Trolls and Hungry hungarians

Day 623, 14:02 • Published in Russia Russia • by Alexei Kiramov

Issue 3:

So as most of you have already heard we've taken DC. By 'we', I mean the Portuguese and by the Portuguese I mean the Indonesians. If you're a new player on the winning side, you couldn’t have found a better time to start playing!

So, being an Optimist, I think it's almost certain that within slightly more than a week we'll have all of the USA and have Canada within a few days. Great. Now what? You've probably seen the Ameritrolls in the forums chirping 'after PEACE takes over, the game will be boring' and 'when America falls peace will have the world!’ Well to be honest if they want to leave and go back to playing WOW in 2 week old underwear they're more than welcome to do so.

It's typical of our American (soon to be) slaves to think that if their precious country falls, it means all of a sudden Scandinavia and the rest of Eden suddenly won't exist. All the Peace players will start mourning the loss of 90 % of the troll population, and start tearing their hair out when they realise they haven’t got any retards left to look down upon.
It's as if when the last American state is conquered the eApocalypse will start and the eJesus, will rise up with the massive sign 'GAME OVER'.

But maybe these trolls have a unintentional point. If we take over America, sure a few thousand of players will quit, but do we REALLY want to have all the rest of the eAmericans part of our country? Just because we'll take them over won't mean they’ll become any less annoying. If anything they'll probably become even worse and mutate into Mega Trolls and will flood the forums with evermore frustrating posts. We'll have to give back their regions eventually, willingly or not, but will it really be any better. Some PEACE members say that after we take over the world we can have fun in 'training wars' but that really isn’t the same. Its far more fun beating up the school bully than play fighting with your friend.

Speaking of other peace members, as great as it is to see our tanks riding over the charred remains of yet another McDonalds, barely slowed by the corpses of dead eAmericans (equivalent to 10 ft speed bumps), I still have my doubts. We assure the Americans that we in Peace are all friends and don't betray each other, but why is it that we have to do so much do get our OWN regions back. I understand that the Hungarians and Indonesians had liberated us from the Romanians, but keeping our two best regions for so long makes me slightly un easy at calling them friends. It’s like if you got your wallet stolen and your friend caught the pickpocket and retrieved the wallet but refused to give it back unless you cleaned his car...that’s not what friends do.

I wouldn’t go as far as too say we're being exploited, but I would say that Indonesia and Hungary are starting to cross the line between kindness and greed. Does Hungary need Alaska? Why can't we have it! We fought for it more!

Oh and I couldn't help but mention this American article, if you really want a laugh I recommend you read this: http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/usa-don-t-get-mad-get-even--880122/1/20.
I always though I was the Humorous optimist, but it looks like I’ve got competition....
I mean most of the stuff the guy says is true, but what he forgets is that:
A) When eAmerica is restored it will be weakened and controlled as Germany in RL once was.
😎 America's government can't manage their own country, let alone get it back
C) This is eAmericans we're talking about....

FACT OF THE DAY: I've always thought it’s funny how a lot of non-Russian people assume that too Russians their country is their 'mother land', when in the actuall language we don't actually ever use that phrase, we say 'rodina' which has nothing to do with 'motherland'. I have no idea who started it.
Also when speaking it aurally they always say it in a russian accent. Their impression of a Russian goes along the lines of 'Ah hullo comrade my name is Vladamirrrr Russianovsky, bringz me my vodka, and then letz deefend our muzzerland!'

Oh and just to finish this off, I have received a letter from the REAL trolls.

Dear eHumans.
We would like to ask for you no longer insult our glorious nations by referring to mentally challenged people, bored teenagers and especially Americans as trolls. We are a proud race and you have dirtied our reputations by doing this. Why don't you call them 'eAmericanish' or gremlins, or perhaps elves? Thank you.
Yours Sincerely
Devon Donaldson

p.s. Don't be stupid elves don't exist!

Vote if you think eAmerica suckz!
Oh and don't forget too subscribe! It free people, it’s FREE.