A Handy PSA
Day 470, 19:23
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Published in USA 
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by
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by Hari Michaelson
---Letter From The Editor---
This Public-Service Announcement is happily brought to you by your good friends in ATLANTIS. Remember, if you're reading this and you're an eAmerican, you can leave your fine in the mail. Thanks pal! Remember to help us fight later!
- Editor-on-the-Edge
Hari Michaelson
---
Hello there! If you're reading this, then congratulations! You're on the road to success!
Oh look, it's our young friend Billy! Say there champ, how're doing today?
Billy: "Well I ne-"
That's super! Say Billy, what're your plans for the evening? I noticed you PMing that citizen with the hot avatar the other day.
Billy: "Yeah we were going to go to makeout point an-"
STOP
Let's take a look at that response. See anything wrong? Take a closer look...see the problem now? No? Let's see what Billy said he and who he hopes is a female are planning on doing tonight. Did he mention anything about working? What about training?
No. Not even a word about eating bread. What we have here are the classic signs of...
INACTIVITY
Yes, inactivity. All over our great nation citizens around Billy's age are engaging in this suspicious lack of activity. From the forums to the comment sections, there's a growing epidemic of lack of growth.
And also communism.
So parents, don't let your young citizens go unattended. And youngsters, I know it's "cool" and "hip" to not be active like us "lame" "dudes", but if apple pie and eAmerica is "lame", then I'm the "lamest" guy around!
---
The Muckraker: Remember, it's not our fault you subscribed.
This Public-Service Announcement is happily brought to you by your good friends in ATLANTIS. Remember, if you're reading this and you're an eAmerican, you can leave your fine in the mail. Thanks pal! Remember to help us fight later!
- Editor-on-the-Edge
Hari Michaelson
---
Hello there! If you're reading this, then congratulations! You're on the road to success!
Oh look, it's our young friend Billy! Say there champ, how're doing today?
Billy: "Well I ne-"
That's super! Say Billy, what're your plans for the evening? I noticed you PMing that citizen with the hot avatar the other day.
Billy: "Yeah we were going to go to makeout point an-"
STOP
Let's take a look at that response. See anything wrong? Take a closer look...see the problem now? No? Let's see what Billy said he and who he hopes is a female are planning on doing tonight. Did he mention anything about working? What about training?
No. Not even a word about eating bread. What we have here are the classic signs of...
INACTIVITY
Yes, inactivity. All over our great nation citizens around Billy's age are engaging in this suspicious lack of activity. From the forums to the comment sections, there's a growing epidemic of lack of growth.
And also communism.
So parents, don't let your young citizens go unattended. And youngsters, I know it's "cool" and "hip" to not be active like us "lame" "dudes", but if apple pie and eAmerica is "lame", then I'm the "lamest" guy around!
---
The Muckraker: Remember, it's not our fault you subscribed.
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Comments
I couldn't really think of anything good for a new article, so that's why this one doesn't really have a major point.
Folks, don't join the Cult of Inactivity.
The more you know.
Can we put inactives into "work camps"?
*in a whiny voice* But Mr. Announcer, all my friends are doing it...
That's when we sign you up for a 7-year-stint in the friendly National Guard.
Couldn't we chain the inactives up like the zombies in "Shaun of the Dead"? Have them do mindless manual labor, while avoiding their bites?
I'd hug you if I could for the Shaun of the Dead reference.