[FNN] News of Elections Past, or, How to Fail Election in One Easy Step
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by Sophia Forrester
Konnichiwa!
In order to honor the achievements and... exploits of candidates past, today on FNN, we present, "How to Fail Election in One Easy Step." I'm C.L. Pastalia, FNN correspondent.
Step One: Promise a bribe to voters!
(Here we have Lejina in May 2011, doing just that.)
Step Two: ???
Step Three: Profit!
Profit?
Sure, it's a win-win situation: Lejina gets an excuse to quit the Imperial Diet, and we don't have to put up with his supposedly representing us that month either! As an added benefit, eJapanese are reminded that fail doesn't pay.
For more news on how to turn defeat into victory, stay tuned!
Editor's note:
It has come to my attention that the first draft of this article gave unjustified attention to certain elements within a large political party, which were averse to its traditions. This has been corrected. Please address any further concerns to the Press Director directly.
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Comments
Thanks go out to Danyeo for providing the perfect picture for step two. Otherwise I'd have to have seen what Google Image Search had for "fail" or something.
I endorse this message. I googled "imperial japan sexy" hoping for a pornographic picture with a Japanese chick in an imperial flag, instead I found those =_=
Somehow i think it could have turned out worse so i guess the step 2 picture isnt bad...
=_=
And this is back when you didn't scrape 250 yen off your shoe in disgust...
Pretty sure that 250 Yen is still not exactly shoe-scraping material. After all, it will get you ten Q3 weapons at today's prices. Besides which, this was a month ago and the Yen has gained value since then.
Bah I went to the washroom this morning and...er...displaced at least 250 Yen (I've actually spent about 500 today plus another 1000 to upgrade my town hall).
Back in the day, they'd call me "Pennybags" and send me on my way.
late lol