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In this edition of the Boblo Interrogations, our lead reporter and sex guru, Bob Boblo was invited to give his trademark grilling to the man they call President Woldy. Unlike last time, Downing Street was not full of dirty yanks.



Bob Boblo: How are you today, mein fuhrer?

Mr. Woldy: Nun, ich bin ok. Das Wetter ist ein bißchen nach unten, aber das ist in den Nachrichten, so wurde berichtet, war zu erwarten. Ich bin ein bisschen müde, aber ich kann mich nicht beklagen. Ich habe eine Geburtstagsfeier lernte später die interessant sein sollte gehen.

BB: The big thing going in your time as president is World War 3. To put it in a metaphor people can understand, how many bananas do the USA have to our apple-eating apricots?

MW: The USA has one huge Banana. Like a monolith of death it can carve through a trout like a Swede's canine. However, the Banana is going through exponential decrease. It's only a matter of time until our 26 apple-eating apricots form one large apricot of salvation and strike the Banana where it hurts.


BB: Many have said Alaska will be the last battle of the war. Do you think this is true?

MW: (laughing) It's only a matter of time before someone starts invading someone else again


BB: You've said you want us to be friends with neutral nations. But do you think we could ever be friends with benefits?

MW: When I look at a neutral nation, with there long flowing blonde hair, attractive face, and luring cankles, I always hope that there will be certain benefits, that could be written up into a treaty to spread the love across a whole range of nations.

BB: In these times of war our military officials will obviously be scrutinised. Do you think Nobody is to the job of MoDaFa?

MW: When I was first approached by Nobody, I was initially intimidated. Nobody scared me. After getting to know Nobody quite well, and after a while even began to find Nobody arousing. I've also heard rumours that Nobody was aroused by me. When I saw Nobody fighting, it was moving, and I realised Nobody was a good commander. I feel Nobody would be great helping out in the military, which is why Nobody was given the position.

BB: You recently got rid of the Royal Guard. Who will guard the royals now? Does Stephen Fry need to be guarded?

MW: Stephen Fry is for now save behind a Q shaped desk, the Royal Guards however have been sent to Guard his Tea set, because if the Kings crokery got damaged, my neck would be on the line.


BB: Your detractors have accused you of being too inactive. Is it fair that people are attacking your sexual performance rather than your politics?

MW: I think so. Obviously they haven't been around to see Woldy Jnr at work, as he is actually rather active.


BB: You once said you would 'suggest to ministers cut backs that could be made'. Have they managed to make 'cut backs' and have these back been as useful as normal backs?

MW: Well we were on route to South Africa, when we stumbled across a pygmy tribe. Obviously, them being pygmies and us being normally sized people, we thought we should take them in as slaves. We found that cutting their backs using any sort of punishment device makes them work much harder, and under the MoHa, they are constructing a pyramid ontop of something called "Manchester".


BB: Your cabinet contains a dog. Do you think a dog could ever be president, or would that just be barking up the wrong tree?

MW: The Dog in the Cabinet is mans best friend, we're still however in the process of trying to find that man, and I'm sure once we do we will see a sharp rise to presidency, after a rough campaign, I'm sure the time afterwards would be the dog's bollocks.


BB: You have previously been Minister of Home Affairs. Are affairs better in the home? Or is there a place in eUK for horny infidels who like a bit of outdoor sex?

MW: An affair at home is good, but there's a chance of getting caught. I've moved my focus recently onto foreign affairs, were "business trips" are the perfect mask for debauched trips into the rare Pensioner Brothels of Stockholm.


BB: In your illustrious you've also been Minister of Work. How does it feel to fill the shoes once worn by the great Bob Boblo?

MW: Bob's shoes are magnificent, fulfilling a task once done by the great bob initially made me cheese, but then I realised standing around cheesing all day wouldn't get the job done. So I just had to carry on with a plain feeling of awe.


BB: It has been said you want to tup congress. Isn't this slightly crude?

MW: Like I said at the time, it's an abbreviation of the word tupperware, meant as a compliment. I didn't realise that they all preferred china, and in the future shall just avoid complimenting them completely.


BB: As a Bobloist, You've recently became one of the few world leaders to convert during their time in office. Are we to presume your are an antidisestablishmentarian?

MW: Oh yes, it's very important for the state to support Bobloism, and provide a sanctuary for all Bobloists. We're currently in the Process of turning the South West into a holiday resort for Bobloists, and are currently bulldozing all residences there.


BB: Finally, what are your hopes and expectations for the upcoming presidential erection on November 5?

MW: I expect it will be somewhat close, and I somewhat hope to win

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And thats why we have democracy!

Next Edition: TBC