Thanks For All The Fish!

Day 810, 20:44 • Published in Canada Canada • by Tyler F Durden


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Click the image above for the "Thanks for all the fish" song!



How far we have come. How far is there left to go?


Remember when we were being invaded by France last summer? That invasion was lead by PEACE: GC. We were getting owned daily on the battlefied. President Jacobi was powerless to do anything. He must have stayed up all hours into the night, double facepalming watching Canada crumble before the PEACE onslaught. The attack upon Nova Scotia took us all completely by surprise! After all, we were all obsessed with Cobras.



The invasion was sudden and devastating.


The attack came and we got absolutely steamrolled. Of course, what many reading right now don't realize is - at this time there was no "Citizenship". Hard to imagine for some, hard to ignore for others.
With each region we lost - we stood to lose those citizens once the Citizenship Module took effect on Day 617.

With the support of the entire nation, we got many of those stranded behind enemy lines out, as most had little or no wealth after spending furiously on weapons to fight the French invaders - who also fell today.

It was this citizen led initiative that compelled Jacobi to honour me with the Companion of the Order of Canada, of which I am still proud of today.



There she is - only a handful of Canadians have one of these


President Jacobi saw this work and asked me to Join his Government, which was at that time called An Amazing Team of Superheros to more effectively repatriate citizens. There were an average of 75 PMs a day in those days...citizens needing Moving Tickets to get out from behind enemy lines.

We were pushed harder still. The enemy was unrelenting, without remorse. Finally, after a massive repatriation effort with the donations of many Canadians we all gathered in Ontario for our Last Stand. For they who were there - it was an eerily magical time. All old axes which had known nothing but the grindstone were instead pointed at our enemy. We all stood together - backs against the wall.



Our Last Stand in Ontario...those were the days...


Then it happened. Ontario fell and suddenly we were...no more. We spread out into the world in our very own Canadian Diaspora.

I went to Spain and brought over a dozen Canadians with me to continue to fight the French as they turned on Spain - our ally. I saw another country get demolished to the ground before my very eyes.
After Spain fell, I bought a cheap Oil company in Indonesian Occupied West Siberian Region and continued to fight against PEACE in anti-Indonesian Chinese Resistance Wars. That was fun - being a lone wolf, without a country - working for minimum wage and then donating it back into the company...

Then the incredible happened. Canada came back! From far and wide Canadians came home to help reclaim our native lands. PEI. New Brunswick...and on it went. I was in New York City at the time and got to thinking, "...there is more that I can do." I joined the newly formed and smallest party in Canada - the Canadian Progressive Front. It had 64 members and was home to old friends from before the war and during the war - many of whom are still in the party. I joined the Party days before the Party President elections and saw that nobody was stepping up to lead it. It had just lost the September 5th Prime Minister elections in which Banach ran...it was down - but not beaten. I decided that this is where I would make my mark in politics. I wrote an article declaring my intent to run for the Presidency of that fine group of individuals.

The Party began to grow.



We grew from 64 outcasts into the most influential Legislative Party
in Canadian history. We became so successful that a whole new
generation of Canadians only know us as we are today. Some call
us "Teh Oligarchs", which as anyone knows is a laughable statement
to hear - especially for the CPF


Ten days after I was elected by an overwhelming majority (which would be a trademark of my Party President elections for the next 5 months.), we went to the Congressional elections as a non existant and ignored underdog. We walked away with 13 seats - a single Party national record.
We did that three times, with November being our worst showing - securing a mere 8 seats in Congress.
On January 25th, we bettered our long standing record and elected 15 Congressmen!

The Brolliance Congress Exchange Member was a member of the CPF.

The Speaker of the House is a Member of the CPF.


The Prime Minister of Canada is a Member of the CPF!
Thanks to the vote I cast at 23:59:40 on Feb. 5th - 10 seconds ahead of the "coin vote"


As I look back on my War Achievements and my Political Achievements I cannot help but feel thankful to all those who helped me along the way. There are too many to name and I don't want to leave anyone out, so I won't name anyone.

So, I imagine you must be wondering - okay - what's he getting at? This is your longest Wall of Text in ages...

It is with a deep feeling of satisfaction and pride in these accomplishments that I hereby announce my retirement from Party Politics, I will NOT be seeking re-election of the Canadian Progressive Front.

It is time that a new generation step forward and carry the Party.
There has never been a lack of talent in this Party, and I have every confidence that whomever succeeds me will carry on our great tradition of success. Whomever it is should have a strong history of putting the Party first - to gain the trust of the membership - which is it's trademark in leadership. We all work for the betterment of Canada and the next leader should not put personal ambition ahead of the Party. Respect for the Party membership must be paramount. I am proud to say that as I leave the Presidency that there are NO factions fighting eachother.

We are truely ONE voice.

Only a current member of the Canadian Progressive Front may run for the Presidency,
as the CPF Electoral Rules specifically state that no citizen may qualify for "Official Candidate" status
unless that citizen has been registered on the CPF Forums and has been a Member of the CPF in game for at least 15 days prior to the Party President election. This was designed to protect the Party from a PTO attempt, or 'parachute candidates'.

Only "Official Candidates" are to be voted for by CPF membership for the honour of leading this great Party.

I will not be endorsing anyone. The membership must decide for themselves who they wish to have lead them into our next era.

I'll be around...working in the OSS, my Canadian Embassy in the United States of America,
the Allied Hotsheet and more Canadaball Comics.

I just realized...that I was born the day France began the invasion, and I retire the same day France gets wiped from the map. Small world, n'est ce pas?

I'll be outside of Barstow, California on the 15th in the Calico Ghost Town on my coming road trip
and I'll look north and think of you guys...and with that, I say:


May the strongest, most apt succeed!

Let the Games begin!





Tyler F Durden,











The Big Moosey shall live on...go forth Moosemen!




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