Tender Lynch: AFA vs. Entrenched Elites

Day 1,839, 07:06 • Published in USA USA • by Silas Soule


Tender Lynch: AFA vs. Entrenched Elites


I enjoy reading events in eRepublik as a story arc that may or may not make for a good movie script.
Here's my analysis/review of the on-going AFA vs. entrenched USA elites story line as if it were the makings of a film called "Tender Lynch"...


Musical accompaniment: I guess that I just don't know








The film version of the drawn-out political war between Ronaldo Gypsy Reagan and his Merrie Band of Servofags on the one hand vs. the entrenched elitocracy of MetaRepublik-USA (TM) players is so heavy-handed, it will feature Johnny Cash's "God's Gonna Cut You Down" during a scene in which a player opines that maybe not all AFA-ers are made of Pure Evil. But it's so cool that we'll hear only the strange percussive chords that sound like bells -- you'd have to know the song to get it.

The movie will consistently vacillate like this, between obviousness and subtlety, treating players to bare-knuckle carnage and long stretches of character-shading propaganda. The propagandists on both sides care a great deal about the caricatures they are developing, while caring little about the actual characters (the players) affected by them. Within the storyline, the characterizations will be of players who care about nothing but themselves and the message will be that that is you.

The whole shebang will work because it works so hard to be middlebrow.

This script will be the kind that features an extended sequence of a hardscrabble actor being pummeled by fists and then vomiting and then being mocked and gets away with convincing people that such is "art". It is a movie that will pummel the audience with news footage of the eUSA being invaded by Russians, Hungarians, Poles and Indonesians while the various ePresidents are seen to be speaking softly in a weirdly benevolent but foul way.

It will be a thrilling and a ponderously nasty gem of a movie, with no actual redeeming qualities.





The primary visual metaphor will be an inescapably narrow alley, with walls that keep closing in.

In terms of plot lines, one metaphorical wall is made up of a relentless Servo fifth column "PTO" and the other is an equally relentless unity-at-any-cost "ATO" big-brotherization, with quirky and obscure references to the 1985 British sci-fi film "Brazil".

What will make the movie interesting is when a character -- a hitman named "Tender" Lynch -- arises who will try to rectify the situation. He will provide the false hope of reaching some kind of light at the end of this tunnel-vision.

There will be complications. Those who have robbed and have hiterto been unsuspected will become the main suspects. A corrupt local game of cards will echo unspeakable corruption on a massive scale. The e-world economy in tatters will provide the background for an even more unstable e-economy of e-crime and e-murder.

Our hero-hitman will himself hire hitmen, who will hire out to others and so on, until the whole community is embroiled in a hall-of-mirrors shoot-em-up. This tangled web will stretch out elegantly over the film's 90+ minutes, using a stupendously subtle soundtrack to drag the audience ever-deeper into its vile muck.




I'm gonna try for the kingdom, if I can
'Cause it makes me feel like I'm a man



Callousness is everywhere in this dog-shoot-dog-thus-igniting-a-gorgeous-slow-mo-sequence-in-which-broken-glass-flows-like-liquid world.



In this bizarre nether-world, men will regard all other men with contempt; women won't even get that level of respect. No woman will speak in the movie until about an hour in. And she will be a hooker who acts like "her anus is a national treasure" according to one of the indecent and mentally deficient assassins who will feature prominently in the film. She will flip him off and leave after cursing him out for being an idiot.

The male characters in this film will have unfailingly and unrelentingly fucked up attitudes about women. With grim cleverness, the movie will illustrate how little women are regarded by these characters, who are (laughably, of course) supposedly drawn from real e-life.



All you sweet girls with all your sweet talk
You can all go take a walk




In the universe of Tender Lynch, women are something to fuck or be fucked by. They are a distraction from what is really important: money and power, or in the case of a few very special characters, money and power and Jesus.

When any of the characters in the film turn their attention to booze and fucking, and thus away from money and power, he then becomes "worthless", according to Tender Lynch. Self-actualization in this realm comes as a result of complete and utter selfishness.

The lead character will be considered soulful because, as a hitman, he goes above and beyond, squeezing out a micron of pity before doing in his prey. He "kills softly" by killing at a distance. What he is not hard on is himself. He attacks from a distance so that he doesn't have to deal with his targets' emotions. Such consideration of others behooves him because it allows him to thrive.





I really don't care anymore
About all the Jim-Jim's in this town
And all the politicians makin' crazy sounds
And everybody puttin' everybody else down





In this "artful" way, misogyny is promoted everywhere but is never advocated. We simply see nothing that is aspirational.

The money and power (and Jesus) that the characters are fighting for to the death is negligible amounts that would never alter any broken lives. And all of this occurs in an illusory realm that itself barely contains enough discourse to even begin to develop a useful hermeneutics of its state of disarray.

There is no there there.

This film will be difficult to stop watching because it portrays a worst-case, back-against-the-wall, walls-closing-in scenario. Its characters will regularly bemoan the state of civilization: e-life is meangingless, it's bullshit, we're on our own, equality and freedom are fake constructs spoon-fed to us by carnival hucksters with their hands in our pockets. The e-world has gone to shit and we are all going to hell. But at least we're going out with high octane.

So party on.







And thank God that I'm as good as dead
And thank your God that I'm not aware
And thank God that I just don't care


Musical accompaniment: My empire of dirt

I will let you down
I will make you hurt