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The Weekly Muse

Firstly, yes. This is yet another newspaper in which some person reviews what has been going on and throws their own hat in. I'm sure we're all very bored of them. Which is why I've started this really, mostly for my own benefit. I shall be discussing, current, past and possible future events, as well as outlining a few thoughts of my own. Most of the content will primarily concern the eUK, and perhaps those countries which lay close by. I'm far too lazy to constantly check up on happenings around the eGlobe.

So, lets get this train wreck moving, shall we?


The Battle of Britain?

Well well, it seems that our friends across the way have finally built up the courage to assail our islands. Unfortunate then, that it was just a diversionary tactic and not the real deal. A shame really. I suppose we shall have to endure yet another few weeks of the EDEN trolls battering our media with their incessant shouting and whining. (Honestly, for people who hate us so much, they certainly do seem to spend a lot of time here. How odd) But that's okay. As long as them threatening to invade (and then not doing so) doesn't go on for over six months, then...oh wait. It already has. Talk about a broken record.

We're lucky though. We can take something from this latest ordeal. That being that many of our allies are ready and willing to come to the aid of the eUK. This is most excellent. I must admit that, for some time, I had been rather worried about whether we would receive any solid support (as a few others were), or if we'd just have to mostly fend for ourselves. It was good to see our fellows in Phoneix pull through.

For those who didn't see it, the battle ended with the wall at well over two million. If this was a test on EDEN's part, then I think we passed pretty well myself, considering our relative size. Perhaps they'll be better prepared for when (if) they actually do attack. Or perhaps it has caused them to reconsider and just not bother (again). Whatever the future holds, we shall be ready for it.


Blandman is ready for the battles ahead. Are you?


Europe is Burning

One day, an early Sunday morning I believe, I was sitting out in my garden enjoying a spot of tea. When, for just a moment, I look up and see that there are Poles and Spaniards alike rampaging across Europe! "Oh my," I thought, taking another sip "Well...that simply won't do."

Useless filler babble aside, I'm sure most of you keen eyed people have noticed that Europe is a very messy place at the moment. For those of you who haven't, I advise that you come out from under your e-rock every now and then. It seems hard to believe (or perhaps not) that just a few weeks ago, we were sitting pretty, while the vast majority of conflicts were well and truly far from home. I remember taking part in the battle for HelloKitty and thinking; 'Gee, this is great. I get to fight without my country being surrounded on all sides by enemies!' Even better than that, we won. (In your face EDEN)

Of course, by then France had already come under fire from Spain, having alienated themselves from a good many former allies. This perhaps led to their downfall even quicker, or could have been the sole reason for it. By the time ourselves and a few other Phoneix countries arrived, it was all but too late. Then came the whole awful affair with Germany, in which we fought a losing war since it started. The Poles, seeming to pull a baby boom of massive proportions out of nowhere (I call hacks on them), began to move their considerable bulk in the direction of our German friends. This, of course, did not bode well.

Once we sat quite pretty, safe in the knowledge that we had at least a few friends nearby. But now we look across the Channel and have to contend with looking at enemies, as horrid as they are. This would be worrying, if it weren't for the fact that all they have done is region swap in order to initiate some blocking manoeuvres. Maybe they really are scared of us (doubtful). I did hear some far flung rumours that they (Poland) intended to push through us, and region swap their way to Asia. I scoffed at it then, and do so with more gusto now.

It may look grim over there, but things are still rather nice here. We're enjoying our time, and waiting to enjoy a real war. But, we are getting fed up of waiting, so do hurry along EDEN.


Don't Cry for me Wallonia

It seems that, despite our best efforts, Wallonia was secured by the Sneaky Spaniards, meaning that we still can't open a front against the Polish. I suppose they are just so worried about going at it with us that they'll continue to use the Spanish as a shield of sorts. But that's okay, we don't mind. We'll be ready to fight properly when you are Mr. Poland.


That Polish Ball

A not at all new phenomena is sweeping the eNation. Polandball is everywhere, and the people are crazy for it! Queues are backed down all the way to King's Cross station just to catch a glimpse of the new superstar!

Yes yes, I know "Not Polandball again!" But fear not. I have no intention of throwing up a comic of it (mostly because my artistic ability amounts to stick-men), or anything like that. It isn't that which I want to speak of in particular either. It is the reaction itself. Upon first seeing it, I found the comics to only be mildly amusing at best, and rather drab at the worst. But it seems that some (the Poles) have been having a rather nasty allergic reaction to it. This reaction causes them to become confused, making the line between reality and eRepublik become blurred or perhaps distorted. We've yet to find a cure, but we have managed to spot some symptoms.

- The subject becomes almost incomprehensible, using bad or broken English.
- Capital letters are used in excess, in a bid to gain attention.
- They believe that a comic is insulting their entire history.
- They come onto some forums just to moan about it.
- They attempt to replicate the joke, in a bid to sedate the rage inside.
- They cry, breaking down and realising that they cannot into space ;_; (Sorry, I couldn't help myself)

But no, really. The reaction, in my eyes, has been quite astounding, bordering insanity in some cases. There seems to be this belief that we aren't allowed to use anything that represents their country, in a slightly (extremely slightly) degrading manner for the pursuit of silly laughs on the internet. "Polish flag represent Polish freedom, rawr roar rarr!" and all that. So then, why has there been many things like this before without such incident? At the end of the day, Mr. Poland, we give as good as we get. If you can't do the same, then I'm afraid that the internet simply isn't the place for you.

Admittedly, some (such as the plumbers and toilet scrubber comics) could be construed as slightly more offensive than the others. But it is not (let me repeat that, in big words) IT IS NOT, an attack against your country, your heritage, your history, or anything else. It is poking fun at the eRepublik nation of ePoland. Nothing else.

Closer to Home

Congress elections are fast approaching, and shall soon be upon. The endless stream of manifestos, and reasonings as to why "Candidate A shall do far better than Candidate B, and that Candidate C should just go home because no-one ever cares about C." Yes, this shall be coming soon, and I wondered; Should I throw my hat into the ring? I am still considering it, but then there's so much to consider. Really, with invasion almost imminent, it seems rather menial to abandon my Navy duties (salute) for the sake of personal gain within the field of politics.

Regardless of if I run or not, it shall be fun to watch. All the parties vying for more power, saying this, that and the other about things, stuff and such. It can be quite interesting, or extremely boring. And then there's when the whole thing just turns into a mud-slinging contest. Honestly, as if it matters that much. Some people have egos that are far too big, which is probably why I won't run this month (not that anyone cares). Too much hassle for my liking, and too many chances to be annoyed by some pepped-up yob over the internet. Where anonymity makes everyone brave!

Last Minute Extra

It seems that the Swedish (or the Pig-Disgusting Swedes, as they are fondly called by some) have chosen to throw themselves into the fray, and launched an attack upon Scotland. This is just a continued part of the EDEN nations blocking or "distracting" us. Really? And I thought the eUK wasn't worth the time. How odd. And yet, those in EDEN seem to being their utmost to keep us from intervening in mainland eEurope. Now, this is more than likely because we have many MPPs, and they are a bit worried about them. But, I'd like to think that it's because they're scared of Sean Bean.


It's okay. I'd be scared of him too if I were you.

Shameless Plug Section

Ah, here we are. The part where I tell you what to do. And I do so enjoy it. Really, if I could make an entire article of me just bossing you about, I'd be quite happy. But I'm not quite good enough at dragging things out like that. Not yet anyway. Right, here we are.


The forums. Really, if you aren't on them already then you're doing it wrong to be quite frank. It is an essential place full of important information and quite a few good chaps (but not Shadow). You can mingle with people from your region, people from the Navy, those in congress, or those in your Political Party.

http://forums.erepublik.co.uk

The British Empire Party. Talking of Politicial Parties, contrary to my bland (and therefore generally unbiased) nature, I have indeed chosen a party with which to call home. That being the BEP. We have just come under the new leadership of Devioux. A rather nice fellow who promises to bring much change and a new aspect to the party as a whole. Be sure to keep up with the newspaper that is written for the party, and see if it's the right place for you.

And of course, the Navy! Where would we be without those handsome lot? Nowhere, that's where! In the Navy you can find a good community full of like minded people, with an extremely active member base and lively IRC channels. This comes with the added bonus of free weapons for fighting with, which will help with ranking-up faster. It also provides excellent organisation, and clear orders, so that you'll know exactly where to fight!

Lastly. If you haven't already. MOVE TO LONDON!



Wrapping-Up

That just about does it for my first nonsensical article, in which nothing was achieved and very little was said. No new knowledge has been gained, and nothing has changed. But, I certainly do feel better for it. And there are some nice pictures to boot! What more could you want? Such useless articles can be expected from me just about every Sunday, unless I'm feeling especially lazy and can't be bothered.

And lets not forget, a big huge thanks to Wolfhorde, whom kindly provided me with my banner! Three cheers for him.

Best two gold I ever spent...

Till next time.

Your Resident bland man,



Blandman