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Between Two F***s: (aka The Worst Caramel-ChocHunk Hangover Ever)

So Friday night and the beer is either chilling in the fridge or warming in mah belly. Seems everyone is doing these interview things today, so being as technologically incompetent as Octo is with skype, not to mention as original, I decided to do the same thing myself with the hope of getting a few votes and losing a few subs before admin deletes or the beer runs out.


When I audit too much the beergoggles makes any two-bit transparency look good

I calls it ‘Between to f***s’ and tonight I’m sitting between two f***s extraordinaire: washed-up Willis who after losing his wife to a teenage kid now gets his revenge by cheating them out of make-believe gold and rubbing it in their pixelated faces, and Cera, who acts much younger than he looks but only because that’s what happens when you’re an easily manipulated and molested “special needs is someone special” barely legal.

So, let’s get the talk show on the road before I pass out and get a forfeit point for not deleting this on time.

ach this skype really rots my titanium balls

Interview #1 – The action movie tough guy that has it in for teenagers thanks to Ashton Koocher:

something about a man puckering on a cancer-stick that wets my koocher

see the meandering talkshow here

My favourite part of the interview was noting how an obviously talented and rich Hollywood-type has all the money he could ever need by never actually had the chance to enjoy that award everyone really wants, an Oscar. Getting to hold one for a little while might have felt nice but showing everyone how much he actually deserved to win the nomination was probably what he still dreams of. Then some dumbass kid stole your woman too.

Rolo, you cheap bastard of x3 national treasuries – pays out a measly 0.69 donation for winning a bet, but before I feel bad for receiving stolen money, I’ll point out that I LOST on a of my oil company to him – it was below market already and it had either stock/CAD in it. I got robbed you fukker.,….typical. Enjoy that shiny CP medal on your mantelpiece while you ponder: “The things I coulda done if some dumbass kid hadn’t stolen the show. I’m gonna go die hard someday right up is “Koocher” and then I’ll be the man.”


Okay, here is the next interview but like I said, it’s between two f***s so I do all the taking here instead of after the next interview. It’s dumb, just like the name, but I don’t really expect anyone to read this far anyhow so piss off with your formatting criticisms.

Interview #2: – “He said he was old enough to meet eRep terms of service and that’s the story I’m sticking with”

I’ll confess the beer was letting a part of me out that isn’t really part of me but more like part of the beer that changes that hetero part of me. Scientists have proven alcoholism to be a mental illness and so it’s a mental illness that made the interview go as it did. I mean I’m a respectable eCanadian citizen here and would never intentionally do anything illegal, though I do ramble on pointlessly at times promising things that I’ll never really do. And that’s the worst of it – a bit mentally unstable, totally hetero, the owner of the #1 financial institution, and all around media blowhard, but NOT what it looks like I am in this interview. I never dream of being the caramel cream center squeezed between two chocolate hunks.

He’s not really under-aged anyhow despite what we all think. Some sort of mental growth keeps him looking fresh and sweet despite his real age. So sweet I just wanted to tickle for a laugh.

It was awkward. (click to watch here)

But in the end, we made up.

I mean ‘made out.’

*cherry chapstick…mmmmmm*


Full interview here or just the part that really matters – acacia that boo button everyone

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The Bell Tolls on Barrel Rolls, Flaming Trolls



“It called and thought itself a Settlement of brightest hope and fulfilment, bright as the blaze of universal tar-barrels and bonfires could make it: and we find it now, on looking back on it with the insight which trial has yielded, a Settlement as of despair, disillusionment, and detachment.”
--Thomas Carlyle, Past and Present: “Two Centuries”

While barrel rolls are being performed in today’s presidential polls, on this same November day in 1605, barrels of a very different sort were being rolled into Parliament. Guy Fawkes’s attempt at a new form of high impact lobbyism ended with a glorious failure, a glorious failure still celebrated 400 years later with burning effigies and the rolling of flaming tar barrels.

Perhaps certain people out there may appreciate the irony of Fox accomplishing what Fawkes could not, while another figure is tarred and burned in the public square for a radical action that he, too, believed was the right thing to do.

So here’s a toast to this day’s Fawkes roast and to those who have taken his e-place…




Remember, remember
That 5th of November
When we elected that guy, Fox
Who came into Parliament Hall
Executing a sly barrel roll
On this glorious day of Guy Fawkes.
As for lighting the fuse,
‘Twas all over the news
When Trout had the nerve to say,
“Ting-a-ling, it’s F-bombs away!”
On this glorious day of Guy Fawkes.




Provided for the tl;dr history geek inside you – the full GF Day rhyme:




Remember, remember,
The 5th of November
The Gunpowder Treason and plot ;
I know of no reason
Why Gunpowder Treason
Should ever be forgot.
Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes,
'Twas his intent.
To blow up the King and the Parliament.
Three score barrels of powder below.
Poor old England to overthrow.
By God's providence he was catch'd,
With a dark lantern and burning match
Holler boys, Holler boys, let the bells ring.
Holler boys, Holler boys, God save the King!

The FCC does in no way support, condone, or encourage the burning or tarring of anyone or anything sounding remotely like Fawkes or any person named Guy. However, we do encourage a vote for honest intentions and a tough stand taken amid a most disillusioned and disenfranchised moment:



So vote Kilgore Trout 89, a serious candidate with less than serious methods. At any other time, you could easily add to the pile of ballots for the assumed winner. Why not follow the underdog spirit of November the Fifth and place your vote where it is needed most.

“The whole past is the procession of the present.” – Thomas Carlyle


A new GF Day has Risen: 7th Month, 7th Day, 7th Hour






A lightsabre-rattling clickable banner

[img]htt://img255.imageshack.us/img255/4509/rh100thlogo.jpg[/img]

Late in the evening of Day 877, Robin Hood’s attempt to “stick it to the Merchant’s Guild” came to a disastrous end at the hands of the Sheriff of Moffingham.

Without a single back-up vote, our Bonnie Prince of Thieves, William Duncan, got the short end of the sword as he battled for party presidency of the fabled Fair Verona party (aka. The William Ducan Band of Merry Men Party). With five royal henchman, the Sheriff of Moffingham had been dispatched by Prince John the First to subdue the midnight marauder and end the long-running feud between the two princes.


Other reasons for the failed party robbing were apparent back at Camp Crimson, where Friar Bruck was overheard saying, “A Republic of Love!? We want rWARrrr!” Additional rumours posit an e-zombie suppression squad had been called in to pacify the penniless, now partyless, pauper prince.

In other related news…

It has been 100 days since the End of Days at 777. Alias Vision has pointed out Day 999 will prove a better chance, so we apologize for that error. However, to celebrate 100 Days of Armageddon-free living, here is a triple-7 take on the elections.

It’s a little something we call …


100 Days – A Look Back/Forward

For a larger view, click here


The more things change in eRep, the more some things just stay the same.

Now today is tomorrow
And tomorrow today
And yesterday is weaving in and out