Scandal in the White House?

Day 997, 15:01 • Published in USA USA • by Gulden Draak

Greetings, and welcome to this edition of The Paper Mache. Today, I have some shocking and disturbing news to bring to you. It appears that an act of sexual misconduct has occurred between our POTUS Krems and one of his staff members. To my knowledge, allegations of such sexual deviancy have never occurred before in this game so this is truly bizarre news. The staff member who was abused, came forward last night to tell his side of the story. While he asked me not to share his name, I can tell you he is in the cabinet. For the rest of this article we will just call him “Jerry”.



Great President or sexual deviant? Maybe both.

Jerry informed me that late on the night of August 9th, he was called into the Oval Office by Krems for a special meeting. Upon entering the office, Krems informed Jerry that he should get on his knees to receive a special prize. A little confused Jerry asked what this prize was for. Krems informed him that since he was British he had the power to knight people and that he was just going to knight Jerry for doing a great job. After Krems had spoken these words, Jerry readily dropped to his knees in eager anticipation of Krems sword touching his supple young body. It was at this point that Krems did indeed pull out a “sword” ,but it was not the kind of sword that one normally associates with someone knighting someone. No my friends, this sword was of a more veiny variety . Jerry looked up greatly confused as Krems sword grazed his forehead. Krems sensing his confusion looked at Jerry, his eyes almost touching Jerry’s soul, and said, “ I’m going to need you to do me a favour”



Could Jerry resist this?

Jerry was now faced with an important decision. Here was the most powerful man in all of the eUSA showing him special attention, but the favour he was asked to perform was quite unique to say the least. At this time Krems veins were slowly fading from his sword , and he knew he was losing Jerry so he had to promise him something. He walked over to Jerry and said, “If you do this favour for me I will make sure you rank up in the cabinet”. Jerry then realized that success is sometimes best achieved through the tip of the sword and he decided that he should perform this favour for Krems.

After the favour was performed, Krems left the office without saying a word to Jerry. Jerry was left on the floor of the office confused and thirsty. Days then passed, and Krems has yet to fulfill his promise of ranking Jerry up in the cabinet. Jerry became greatly frustrated and decided to come to me with this story. After Jerry had told me his side, I decided to confront Krems on the issue. Krems replied to my question with his fist clenched and his thumb slightly sticking out and said, “ I did not have sexual relations with that man”. Upon saying this Krems then left in this van:



He was on his way to help “welcome” new citizens to the country

Upon relaying Krems response to Jerry, Jerry was infuriated. He told me that he still had the red shirt he wore on that fateful night and that he was going to take it to the lab to get it tested for Krems DNA. We are now faced with an important decision my fellow citizens. If this does come to be true, should we condemn such sexual misconduct or should we just say he is the President and he needs a favour from time to time? The ball is in our court EMERICA and we must decide what to do. Until next time……

Stay thirsty my friends,

Gulden Draak