Iran and Serbia Together on the Failboat: No Kosovo, No Canada

Day 668, 23:06 • Published in Croatia China • by pyroelectricity


Iran, bottom, is shown here staring up at Canada and EDEN, top, in wonder, not quite knowing what to do.
Note the discrepancy in the lighting and shadows between the bomb and kitten. This is because I forgot to flip the bomb while I was editing the image. Photoshop fail \o/
Once again, Peace has failed. This time with Iran. They declared war on Canada, and then failed to attack.

In my 9 months in eRepublik, this is probably the biggest EPIC FAIL I’ve seen. It’s worse than the invasion of France, it’s worse than the headless chickens, it’s even worse than the Spanish 16k Gold fail.

Peace has essentially given up their opportunity to block in North America. Canada has managed to seize Yukon, which leaves NWT as Iran’s last region in Canada. It is inevitable that Canada will regain this region, and leave Colombia, Russia, and Hungary as the only remaining Peace players in this war.

The big mistake was Iran sitting around and doing nothing. So long as Canada keeps attacking NWT, they are safe and Iran is screwed.

If Iran cannot retreat NWT and attack from another region, since Canada took the Yukon. Iran would have no more regions with which they could attack Canada if they were to lose NWT.

With the new fix by the admins that only allows a country to retreat from the first battle opened up in a region, a new method of blocking that cannot be defeated or circumvented has been invented. First, an RW is opened in the region, followed shortly by a direct attack. Using this tactic, Canada has been able to block Hungary for quite some time.

The RW-Attack method could also be used to keep an open battle in NWT at all times, albeit at a large expense. It may make more sense for Canada to retreat early (without telling Iran beforehand xD) and then attack again. (Even if the second attack was just an RW, it would serve the purpose of keeping an open battle)

Also, if Canada were to arrange a region swap with the USA, they could block Russia using the same method that is being used for Hungary.

Canada will eventually win back NWT, no matter how many battles it takes. Like in Yukon, EDEN will at some point deploy to Canada and defeat Iran. Even if Peace tanks help, EDEN will eventually prevail, even if it is only because Peace runs out of gold. . . oh, wait, Parter is selling his house. That’s awfully kind of you, because it might be the last hope of Peace’s invasion.

But before you sign the contract, remember that it’s just a game.
Seriously, dude, don’t sell your house.

Yes, that’s right. Kosovo is still Uruguay. For those of you who are newer to my humor, Kosovo is Uruguay.

My basic meaning is “STFU Serbia.”
But you’re really never going to get Kosovo. Do you want to know why?

Kosovo is not universally recognized. However, there are some nations that do recognize it. Until there is such a time that the sovereignty of Kosovo is not disputed, it cannot be added to Serbia for political reasons. Game designers supporting one side or another in this dispute would not go over well with. . . anyone, for that matter. The job of the Alexis and George is to make a great game while making money at it, not to choose sides or influence political debates.

Furthermore, adding Kosovo to Serbia would leave a bad taste in the mouths of both current and potential players of countries that do recognize Kosovo. eRepublik Labs would lose large amounts of business from these countries, almost certainly more than they would gain from countries that do not recognize Kosovo if they were to add Kosovo to Serbia or more than they would get from Parter selling his house. Most of the largest potential markets in the world for eRepublik recognize Kosovo, including the USA, the UK, France, Italy, and Australia.

Basically, it would be too controversial and would cause a loss of money to add Kosovo. End of story.

If you, like me, are tired of Serbians whining about something they’re obviously never going to get, spread the wor😛 Kosovo is Uruguay!
#kosovoisuruguay on rizon


If Iran and Serbia were to meet aboard the failboat, I imagine it would go something like this:

Iran: Hey.
Serbia: ‘Sup Iran?
Iran: I just epic failed in Canada. You?
Serbia: I’m bugging the admins about Kosovo again.
Iran: How’s that been going this time?
Serbia: Bad. Once again, the admins aren’t listening, but people are running around now shouting “Kosovo is Uruguay” on our articles. It’s all the fault of that asshole pyroelectricity.
Iran: Here, have a few hundred extra Q1 Kabobs. They’re mol- I mean fresh out of the oven!
Serbia: Gee, thanks Iran! We should like sign an MPP or something!
Iran: We have to ask Peace first. . .
Serbia: Hungarydamnit!

EPIC FAIL


(~-pyroelectricity-~)

Always look on the bright side of life.
Energizer bunny arrested, charged with battery.