Fundraiser to Counter Russian Emperor's Vow

Day 668, 16:05 • Published in USA USA • by Jack Flufferton

By now we all know parter, the Russian emperor (can you call yourself that if you don't even own all your original territories?), is way rich and will do whatever it takes with real money to defeat the eUS. I'm no Russian oil magnate, so I'll offer what I can to bring some real money into this game:



Me and all of my mullety goodness. I can be yours, and not just for a date, but for good. You can comb my hair every night, rub balms on my forehead, whatever.

I realize this is a big sacrifice on my part - I may never get to have a career, kids or a wife - but that's how much the eUSA matters to me. In turn, you guys have to put up big, big money. The winning bidder's money will all go into buying gold to counter parter's desperate attempt.

Two stipulations: you have to provide me with internet access to continue playing eRep and you have to comment with your offer and what you'd do with me (e.g. I'd take you around the state fair on a leash and feed you cotton candy all day). Don't get the article deleted because of your comments; this should be funny because this war is very boring right now.

Have fun!

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