eAustralia Thanks Her Allies, And Looks At The Weapons They Brought!

Day 768, 16:01 • Published in Australia Australia • by Dartreal


A great victory for eAustralia! Together, with our eAllies, we have driven off eBrazilian from our land and sent them back into eSouth Africa! eBrazil brought their A-Game but it was the strong unity of eAustralia and the great support from her eFriends across the eWorld that saw the invasion cut short!

Three cheers to eMalaysia!
Three cheers to eUSA!
Three cheers to eCanada!
Three cheers to eSpain!
Three cheers to eGreece!
Three cheers to eIndia, eCroatia and to all eCountries who helped out!

It was great to see our eAllies come to our aid in our darkest hour! I went down to eWestern Australia and visited the large military base established for our troops and for our allies. Thousands of troops celebrated wildly into the night! Everyone was ecstatic! There was booze, laughter and happiness as one would expect to see in a post-war victory!

Our allies brought their weapons and it definitely played major factors in the battle. Would we have been able to have repelled the eBrazilian army? Who knows, but the help is well accepted here and we eAustralians are eternally grateful for the assistance.

But what did our allies provide for us exactly? My reporters were on hand for the battle and they were busy snapping up as many photos as they could for my newspaper. I personally went to all the quarters of all our eAllies after the battle and spoke to some top generals. They showed me the weapons used in the war and explained to me what they do. So, armed with photos and information, allow me to show you, eAustralia and the eWorld, what each nation brought to eAustralia to defend us.



eMalaysia: Petronas Twin Fortress.
I knew something was fishy when eMalaysia decided to build these colossal Siamese monsters. I mean seriously, did eMalaysia really need not one, but TWO office buildings that big!? It turns out the “office building” was merely a cover up – the damn structures are a bloody air fortress! Everyone was in shock as this gigantically steel and glass structure came floating over the ocean and launched its attack. Each tower carried thousands of eMalaysian troops and they reigned down missiles and lead from the sky. And those pointy things at the top? They’re powerful laser beams. Do you like your Carnaval extra crispy eBrazil? Hahaha! Terima Kasih, eMalaysia!



eSpain: The Bulls.
Everyone knows the eSpanish are crazy, especially with the way they have their annual “Running of the Bulls.” Did anyone stop to ever think that the entire thing might actually have something to do with the eSpanish? Apparently it does! I spoke to the eSpanish general on the eWestern Australia front and he told me that every year, the bulls used in the event are actually sent from the eSpanish army. It’s meant to be very good training for the bulls, especially when it comes down to chasing down the enemy. So I guess you would imagine what was going through the minds of the eBrazilians when they saw these horned stallions charging at them. These guys take no bulls, and it seems that they were “very horny” for the Carnaval Commandos! Hahaha, the bad puns just keep on getting worse! Muchas Gracias, eSpain!



eGreece: Gods & Monsters.
What’s a myth? Something that’s made up, right? Apparently, mythology doesn’t exist in eGreece… because Gods and monsters DO exist in eGreece! Who the hell said Zeus, the Cyclops and Medusa were all made up? When the eGreeks arrived on eAustralian shores, they brought with them a sideshow of supernatural creatures! Zeus zapped the enemies of eAustralia into ashes! The Cyclops crushed dozens at a time with his huge feet! Medusa turned many into statues and smashed them to pieces! Hercules tossed tanks like they were stones! The Harpies swooped down on the eBrazilians, plucked them off the ground and dropped them to their deaths! Looks like eBrazil occupying eAustralia is now a myth! Hahaha! Efharisto Poli, eGreece!



eCanada: The eCanadian Ice Hockey Commandos.
Just like eBrazil, eCanadian doesn’t send their best ice hockey players into competition – they send them to WAR! It’s a well known fact that out of all the sports in the world, ice hockey is the most violent. Dozens of people die playing the game, but eCanadians. It seems that they have mastered the sport of death. The Ice Hockey Commandos of eCanada are trained to slapshot ice hockey puck-shaped explosives at the enemy at over 150 miles an hour! They’re experts in close combat. They wield their ice hockey sticks with deadly poise, they can knock down tanks like people with their powerful shoulders, and can swiftly decapitate anyone with a cutting kick with their ice-skates. After losing in eAustralia, I’m pretty sure eBrazil were blaming eCanada! Hahaha! Thanks a lot eCanadian, and for the eCanadian Frenchies, Merci Beaucoup!



eUSA: Lady Liberation X.
Does every eCountry have a gigantic robot of their own? Apparently so. eAustralia has the MECHA KOALA 2000 and the eBrazilians brought along their Christ the Redeemer 3000. What did eAmerica bring to the fight? Lady Liberation X! Don’t worry eNYC, your statue is still there. The eUS Military designed this pretty woman to be a bit taller than the original model. She got everything: guns, missiles, nukes, fire, laser and when she fights “Born in the USA” blares out constantly! The music not only frustrates the enemy but it also annoys the allies too, making them want to kill more as the song plays!

While MECHA KOALA 2000 was being patched up for repairs after taking the full front of the eBrazilian attack, Lady Liberation X went in and had the clash of the century with Christ the Redeemer! It looks like there is a lady out there who isn’t going to be charmed by you eBrazilians! Hahaha! Well done Lady Liberation X and thank you very much eUSA!

Thanks to ALL eCountries who fought alongside eAustralia! We are all thankful that you all came to us in our time of need! We will not forget your help! May our friendship last forever… or as long as our MPPs last for!