Conspiracy: Plot to assassinate Alfred Ball

Day 1,202, 23:04 • Published in Japan Japan • by Thinh Nguyen

I have to warn all of you! There is a villain in our midst. One that no one would expect! I received a letter in the mail telling me to visit Tokyo. It was a pink letter, with a heart sealing it. I thought that it was a letter from my dearest Yonsil finally accepting my love. I dressed in the best clothes that I had, bought a bouquet of flowers, reserved a table at a fancy restaurant and left for Tokyo. It was a pleasant train ride, filled with thoughts of my long lost love. I arrived in Tokyo and went to the meeting place. I was 3 hours early, but I couldn’t stand the thought of my beloved Yonsil waiting a second for me. Much to my surprise, the person I was waiting for was there 3 hours early too, but it wasn’t who I thought it was!


I was suddenly accosted from behind and a chloroformed rag was shoved in my face. I put up a struggle but it was useless. I awoke and it was light out. I was in a 2 star hotel room, most certainly not the one I had reserved for my night with Yonsil, and I could see dawn light coming through the window. I was on an upper floor, strapped and gagged on a wooden chair, and all I could see was what the early morning rays cast light upon.
There were 3 people in this room other than me, two very large men wearing suits and one smaller woman wearing a blue business skirt, stockings, holding a police baton and maybe a top if that would entertain you. My eyes opened wide in fear as I waited for what was to come. She sat there with the two men on either side, watching me for what seemed like ages, but was probably at most a minute, when she finally spoke.




“We want you to do something for us.”
“Who are you people and what do you want from me?!” I cried.
“We represent the ULJ,” said one of the large men, a large black man with dark shades wearing a white muscle shirt.
“How can you possibly see through those sunglasses, and aren’t you cold?! This is the middle of the winter!”
“I can’t see anything son, and I'm the coldest man in the world.”
“I’m sorry.”
“We want you to do something for us.” The small girl repeated, “We have a small problem that we want you to take care of for us.”
“Isn’t this extremely clichéd and silly?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“I’m sorry.”
“That’s alright, but what do you have to say about our agreement?”
“Who are you?!”
“How could you not recognize me? I’m Sophia Forrester. Now will you do what we want you to do?”
“Sure, sound legit.”
“Well we’re going to torture you anyways because we had completely planned on it and just agreeing to our request like that wasn’t planned. We now have about 3 hours to burn, waste, or otherwise misuse so we will start now.”


this is a loli

I don’t know why the screams weren’t heard elsewhere in the eWorld. Maybe they were and my rescue which I will soon talk about was the answer. I will never know, but what’s for sure is that I spend 3 hours being tortured in ways only the ULJ could imagine. I have never seen so many young animated girls being sexually abused in such a short period of time in my life and I thought that I had seen it all with the snuff films, but they had a trick up their sleeves. A horror one cannot begin to describe, only through its name can those that know of it understand the brutality and wonton disregard of life of what I was put through: Boku no Pico.


this is Boku no Pico


I was drooling from the side of my mouth when I realized where I was again or what time it was. I was clubbed by the small girl, who was smiling in a sickeningly cute way, and was asked a question.

“Will you do our mission for me?”
“You’ll get nothing from me you cretins!”
“That’s odd, you were more than willing to do our job earlier.”
“If I still agreed now it wouldn’t serve the plot.”
“That’s true. Well then we can only do one more thing to you.”
“What?! You have something worse than Boku no Pico?”
“My friend, that was simply the tip of the iceberg. But we will have you kill Alfred Ball and by the time we’re done with you, you will come back into our loving arms and revel in the sight of young girls sold into sex slavery.”
“Assassinate Alfred Ball?! The Bringer of Dio, Glorious mansexual and heterosexual male life partner of TheReverendSeanV?”
“The same!”
“How could you do that to such a man who has brought us all such great goodness such as Dio and low-calorie fudge?!”
“Because he’s a gigantic twinkie and I want his cream filling!”
“…” I was at a loss for words,” What kind of retarded reason is that?”
“I was just checking that you were paying attention. The real reason I want to kill him is because he is an unfit president of eJapan, but it also serves the purpose of cutting off the head of the Dioist movement in eJapan!”
“You are a sick individual!”
“I regret nothing! I’m already commited!”

I was then brainwashed with Loli propaganda, pictures, videos and stories of lolis. I swore that I would never bend to their will, that I would die with Dio in my heart and in my head and then the true torture started. I will not describe it, only to say that this is what they call Forbidden play time.


said forbidden loli play time.


I thought all hope was loss. There was nothing left in the country for me. I had been abandoned by everyone, and left to be tortured until I went mad by this lunatic in a very hot body and an ass that just won’t stop. But then I realize that I wasn’t alone. There was someone with me the entire time, Our Glorious Savior Dio. My mind was filled with his presence as I realized he was there. I started smiling and crying. I couldn’t hear what Sophia was saying; I could only see her face it twisted with rage. I felt my mind lifting my body as though Dio was saying, “That’s enough. You’ve done good. It’s all over.”


I can’t say how long I was like that, only the next thing I knew there was a suddenly a loud crash and 2 heavily armed men came crashing through the front door, and a single person came crashing through the window on a rappelling line. I heard gunshots and a furious battle started. Sophia and her body guards backed up to the door to the adjacent room and held there for quite some time as the 3 strangers shot at them. Suddenly the shooting stopped and all that was left were 3 men standing.



One put his hand up to a microphone and said, “Sophia and bodyguards have left through the north eastern staircase. Thinh is still here, he appears to be alive.”

I couldn’t tell who exactly they were, but embossed on their shoulders and chest was the glorious symbol of Dio that we all know and love. The crescent and star around our savior Dio. One took off his helmet and I knew immediately that I was in good hands. Standing there was my good friend and fellow dioist, exReality. He told me that everything was alright, for Dio had brought them to my rescue.



The next moments were a blur. I remember explaining what had happened to exReality and next thing I knew I was in a very comfortable office with Alfred Ball standing before me. I explained in detail and depth what had happened and why it had happened, Alfred sat in his golden throne listening to all I had to say. I was immediately taken from there and placed under heavy guard, directed by brother Fruitcommando.

I know now that our Glorious Dio revolution is under heavy fire from detractors such as Sofia Forrester. So my fellow Dioists, watch your back. And know that Dio is always looking out for you, Alfred Ball is his hand, and that you will always have family with Dio. I will never be the same as the innocent young man I was before I fell into Sophia Forrester’s hands. But I will live on, spreading the name of Dio. So never give up, never fall, and keep the word of Dio alive!