Bribery Scandal Explodes Throughout eRepublik
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by Jythier Smith
eRepublik – Accusations have been flying over the bribery of public officials in order to gain access to abilities that have not yet been earned.
The Picayune investigated the scandal, codenamed “Unlock Features.” We found that for about the price of 20 gold, you could gain access to a newspaper, run for congress, own a company, or even run for President, long before you were old enough to do so legitimately. There are also other ‘features’ involved.
You can’t pay in gold though. When we offered gold in trade for the features, the officials turned us down. “You have to pay through Euros,” the official told us. We assume that ‘Euros’ is a codename for the money-laundering scheme used to clean the gold before it is transferred to the official, making it untraceable except by investigative reporting.
One official, whom the Picayune caught red-handed in our investigative report, said “It’s my job. I’m supposed to take your money, and unlock the features for you. Anyone can do it, it is a normal part of the world we live in. Why are you even investigating this? Are you mad?”
When asked who was behind this scheme, the official was very open. “Admin. He’s behind Unlocking Features, Wellness Packs, and pretty much everything else in the world you see.”
Officials are expected to arrest themselves sometime today or tomorrow.
Editor's Note:
Here at the Picayune, we are aghast at the attitude that corruption and bribery at the highest level is a ‘normal part of the world we live in’. Bribery is wrong. Corruption is wrong. We will continue to investigate this mysterious ‘Admin’ until a satisfactory resolution is reached.
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Comments
damn i thought this was serious.
good article anyway. Always a pleasure to read one of your articles
Very creative ..voted
You slay me!
This game also has a severe bias favoring those suffering from Chronic Compulsive Mouse-Clicking Syndrome (CCMCS). Symptoms of the afflicted include delusions of grandeur, unjustified scorn toward new players, and the false perception that the simple manipulation of a cursor/manual input device in a browser-based MMMORP strategy game confers upon them a level of profound brilliance.
🙂
I'd write that one up, but it's not an in-game reference. Rats!
Sorry Pliped. Nothing serious comes out of this newspaper.
"Officials are expected to arrest themselves sometime today or tomorrow."
This is the best line in the whole article. Voted.
These are much better than my articles. Subscribed.
Voted. But I was interested when i thought that the artical might actually be about bribary and scandal. A little bit disapointed but, I suppose you made up for it in lulz
Funny, definitely voted and subscribed!
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I propose a new non-profit organization:
International CCMCS Society
Dedicated to helping those afflicted with Compulsive Mouse-Clicking Syndrome (CCMCS).
I nominate Citizen Dru as its first Board President and I would be happy to serve on the Board as well.
Your paper continues to entertain. 🙂
*Looks around* How did they find out?... *Looks around*
http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/bih-na-noge-1-739682/1/20
http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/ebosna-i-hercegovina--739771/1/20
http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/narodna-banka-bosne-i-hercegovine--740047/1/20
come on give vote for eBosnia
Perhaps those in the Cult of Inactivity found out about the truth, and really the Cult is the Admins way of getting rid of those who know too much. After a while they forget, and buy into their scheme by purchasing the wellness packs. Brilliant!
LULZ
Like I tell everyone - The Picayune was the only paper that caught the Zilla story. The only paper that caught the wellness packs ban. The only paper that caught the Azores party, and the only paper that caught the collapse of the Library of Congress. If you don't subscribe here, you don't know what's really going on.
You'd almost think that with The Picayune being the sole apprehender of all these storied that they're all just that: stories. Crazy.
Shenanigans!
Euros is a forum of money in Europe! Dee Dee Dee
why euros anyway? a weaker currency would be better.
Lol stupid but funny
Speaking of political influence:
http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/the-romanians-are-invading--740728/1/20
"Lol stupid but funny"
That's our motto!
"We assume that ‘Euros’ is a codename for the money-laundering scheme used to clean the gold"
That, my friend, was brilliant. Voted and subscribed.
damn, I thought we'd have an intriguing conspiracy to ponder of!
LOL!!!
rolf! so funny and original... I think I write too serious
LOL!
The eUS MUST sign an MPP with eAustralia before eIndo attacks them! This is our chance!!!!!! eBritain has done it, now it's our turn! Spread the word!
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That was lolworthy, voted.
Hahaha. Well done!