Adopt-A-Newb Program Background and Proposal

Day 1,331, 18:17 • Published in USA USA • by Sorcus


As I was taking a shower this morning, I was contemplating on my first few days as a new player. I then thought of a brilliant plan to make eRepublik over 9000 times better.

I'm not going to beat around the bush.

eUSA's new player support system sucks.

SUCKS.

When I first signed up, the only message I recieved was a cookie-cutter message from president Blank Keating. I thought to myself "Wow, they must reallycare about their newbies." So, I was basically left to fend for myself, until I published my first article and met some friends. Trust me, it's definetely no fun coming into a game and not knowing anything, besides where you can post pictures for food. I guess that's America for you.

So, I've thought of a much more professional and more long-sighted plan that could possibly be the best thing since russian hitmen.

Methodology

The theory regarding how this program would influence the human mind and behavior is simple. Online gamers are lazy, we don;t escape the real world to come onto a game that we actually have to put effort into.


Unless you have no soul, as pictured above.

Referencing back to my first day, I definetely wasn't inclined to go to the links provided, mainly because it was like "Hey, How's it going? Here's some links that might possibly help you, but not really. We already know that only the top 3% of the intelligence spectrum stays on eRepublik, you'll probably quit soon. Kbai!"

Which is precisely what I want to change.

But in it's entirety, this will be able to incline new players to get more involved and immersed in Erepublik, other than that lame tutorial that's on here. Let's face it, our population sucks. We need new players to stay on here and grow, or else we will fail as a nation. As Arnold Schwarzenegger says, "You can lead a horse to water, and you can make it drink with sufficient firepower and intimidation"


Or something like that.

The Program
On paper, or ePaper, it's quite simple.

There would be "Mentors" who guide newbies, or practically hold their hand and bestow their vast knowledge of the game onto them, even financially supporting them.

The criteria for what a mentor is composed of would be determined by the government, and a application system would be put into play, so this program would be highly regulated. Once a mentor is accepted, he or she would have to message newbies, and offer assistance. A forum topic would have to be dedicated to thi, so more than one mentor wouldn't have the same newbie.

Mentors would have to offer incentives to their newb, so the newb would keep playing. Who doesen't want to play a game that has no goal? Goals would be essential. Get creative with this, the sky's the limit.


Because there's no air in space and you would die a extremely painful death, and then your newbie would probably quit. Way to go, Champ.

The rewards of this would be epic. Not only would you have better moral fiber, but you would be helping our nation as a whole. The economy would boom, media would prosper, and our army would multiply. But this is if the retention rate is drastically improved, of course.

The only key to making this work is the incentive/Reward system. You have to motivate newbies to log on the next day. Help them make friends, etc. I want to see it to the point where joining a party is like christmas morning to a newbie, and that is when we know it's an epic succsess.

Of course this would need some polishing up, as it's only in it's rough form. Like a diamond, Oh Yeahhhhhhh.

Just throwing my idea out there,

Hiding in your prius,