AAP: Take a Bow

Day 876, 23:59 • Published in USA USA • by Emerick

AAP, I am running for president of your party once again. Last month, I announced my intention to use the AAP’s superior membership to propel my Authoritarian vision into the forefront of American politics, and this month, I aim to complete this goal.

But AAP, I’m not choosing to run AAP simply because of its dead people – lord no, that would be wrong. I’m choosing AAP because it has chosen time and again to be the least effective party in the country. Over and over. The AAP leadership has failed in every respect possible. As the largest party in the country, this party is tasked with the responsibility to be an example to the rest of the nation, to represent our country’s politics, and to be all around better than the rest. The AAP has failed in all three regards.

Nobody wants to be anything like the AAP. When you talk about parties that suck, the AAP is always the first one to spring to mind. In every country. The AAP is a textbook example of how to run a party into the groun😛 start with a super baby boom, add in some far-left politofurries, and top it off with awful leadership, and boom. You have a failed party: the AAP.

AAP, you’ve had your chance. You even got an extra month when McFarland let you live last month, for no apparent reason. I will not make this same mistake. The AAP as we know it will cease to exist. You are invited to move to a small party and try again. I did, and I did well. I won more congressmen with my 6th party than you did, AAP. Hell, I won more than most parties larger than mine. Why is that? Because I run a real party, with real objectives and real organization, we are active and strive for perfection, and we keep our members satisfied. You do not have these qualities, AAP.

So AAP, say goodbye. It will take a lot of hard work to beat me, and I wish you the best. If you can somehow convince America that you are worthy of existing and you manage to defeat me, then more power to you.
Otherwise, take a bow.