[WC] I am NOT Kilgore Trout 89

Day 1,206, 08:02 • Published in Canada Canada • by Kilgore Trout 89

I have not yet had a chance to participate in one of Dominik’s writing contests, however the topic this week has got me thinking. For those of you who haven’t seen the original article, the question is “To what extent is the in-game character and conduct of a player a reflection of their real-life personality?” Without going into full blown essay mode, I want to suggest that it is not our in-game characters’ behaviours that reflect our RL personality, but rather our RL talents and interests.

In RL, I am a university student. In a few months, I will graduate with an Honours degree in English Language and Literature with a minor in Political Science. These fields are highly steeping in theory and the ability to examine and invent ideas. Because I spend most of my time IRL engaging in research and writing, these are skills that I see as constituting hard work that not everyone can do. In case you haven’t noticed, most of what I do in eRep is writing articles and posting in congress. Because my RL interests lie in writing and coming up with different ways of approaching topics, eRep has become a tool of sorts for me to pursue these interests in a recreational setting. The fact that “Kilgore Trout 89” does little more than develop and examine new ideas is a direct reflection of the fact that those are things my RL-self enjoys doing. Personality-wise however, I am in no way Kilgore. Where Kilgore is outspoken, objective and at times abrasive, in RL, I am rarely any of these things. I’m highly opinionated IRL and know that many of my conservative views are not shared by my peers. As such, I’m usually very hesitant to speak my mind or suggests an alternate viewpoint because, sadly, many people in my age demographic are prone to respond to disagreements with hostility. My in-game personality is one that I have constructed to be what I hope someday to be IRL. Right now, I’m in congress, cabinet and am relatively well-known and respected in the community. This in-game personality could not be any further from the person I am IRL. I am little more than an unknown face in an academic crowd.

Enough about me though, I want to further my argument that in-game personality is not the same as RL-personality by talking about Tem for a bit. Why? Because most people are aware that Tem and I have a bit of a rivalry in game. I’ve seen people suggest that I hate Tem. Again though, we come down to the distinction between disliking the character and disliking the person. “TemujinBC” the arse who leads TCO without taking on an official leadership role drives me absolutely insane. However, I have the benefit of remembering a time when Tem was little more than a rank-and-file soldier. When Tem joined TCO, he wasn’t the abrasive, dismissive, “butt” that most people see him as today. This is an artificial personality he has created for himself over time and I would be lying if I said I didn’t dislike this character. TemujinBC; resident of Smithers BC and self-employed bridge builder however is a completely different story. I may be the only one who notices (I hope I’m not) but when Tem logs on to socialize rather than to play a character, he’s a completely different person. In perspective, it makes sense that someone who runs a business IRL is the perfect person to run a group like TCO, again though, this is talents and interests influencing the character, not actually personality. When you spend time talking with Tem about non-eRep stuff, it becomes clear that the military badarse is a persona and in fact, he is an incredibly agreeable guy. Tem is not the only person like this however. I’ve had conversations with many people whose characters are controversial but when the conversation falls to RL are incredibly different people.

It only makes sense that people are going to create different personas for themselves in-game. We play for entertainment, escapism and community. Somebody who spends their day locked away in a library with books all day is going to use an online community to seek out social interaction. Someone who stands behind a cash register getting yelled at all day is going to use an online community to assert control. Somebody who is a high-pressure businessman is going to use an online community to goof around at the end of the day. Our in-game personalities by and large reflect not who we are IRL, but rather who we are not. The characters we play frequently serve as a way for us to play out whims and desires that we would never dream of doing in the real world. Think about eRep as an RPG. When I play Mass Effect, I have no problems sticking a gun in an NPC’s face in order to get what I want. In real life, I would never even consider such an action. eRep is no different. Rather than personality, it is talents and interests that are reflected in our in-game personas. Nobody is going to try to find their escapism doing something they are horrible at. In a game where there is not clearly defined way to “win”, each of us will use our talents to create our own definitions of “how to win” and will follow through on it. This is the closest we will ever get to truly knowing who a person is. I know for example that Tem is good at management, I know that olivermellors is detail oriented, I know that MaryChan is good at winning loyalty, Acacia Mason is a great communicator and Jacobi is skilled and identifying critical areas of weakness. Realistically though, I know very little about who these people are IRL. To suggest that we can infer anything about a person’s true personality beyond skills and interests is, quite frankly ludicrous. Something tells me that, for example, Rolo has never stolen large sums of money IRL nor would he ever do so. This disjoint between in-game and RL is why people are able to take a few months off and “reinvent” themselves.