[Full Collapse] The eBachelorette - Episode 1

Day 2,353, 19:40 • Published in USA USA • by wookyjack


If you missed the announcement then I am sorry, but Mazzy_Cat is not accepting any more roses.

Episode 1: Poems for a pretteh kitteh



Mazzy_Cat was waiting in the room with eBachelorette host WookyJack anxious for her suitors to show up. She brought some rope and a ladder just in case. The location of the contest was in Greelingada and it was pouring snow outside. A comfy fire was nearby and the eager Mazzy was tense with anticipation.

WJ: There is an awesome group of individuals coming in today, Mazzy. How are you feeling?

MC: I’m pretty excited! Fired up even!! This is so exciting, and I’m all atingle with anticipation. I really can not tell you just how much fun this is.

WJ: Why did you choose a poem to be the first contest for your potential suitors?

MC: I’m a poet. I have always loved poetry since I was a little girl. Then as I grew older I started writing. Poetry is a way I can openly express myself and free my soul. So it’s something that matters to me. A person that wants to eDate me needs to have that in common with me.

WJ: Well! I must say that people are excited to see how this goes and might I add that you look gorgeous this evening; there is going to be a lucky individual when this comes to an end. But before we get any more mushy I think I’ll leave that to the contestants. Mazzy, each suitor will come into the room, present their rose for you and read their poem they wrote especially for this occasion. After each contestant has read their poem they will all leave the room and go to the open bar in the next room while you deliberate and decide whose poems have won your heart this round. The poems you select, and their suitors, will advance to the next episode. There are 8 suitors. Two of the suitors whose poems you do not choose will be whipped mercilessly until you are satisfied. They will then be tied up and thrown out to the cold, dark forest of Greelingada where they will most likely perish.

Is your heart ready?

MC: My heart is fluttering upon wings as delicate as the snow falling upon Greelinganda tonight. Yet, I am so ready! Bring on the victims suitors!

WJ: Blondeninja, will you please let them in one at a time? Thank you. And Apollo221, open bar means open bar. Ensure the suitors are well taken care of after they read their poem. Thanks.





irule777

The deep luscious beauty of the cat,
Is that which is so hard to look at,
Everytime I look at her, I know my attempts at love will just fall flat,
But I try, nevertheless for her love that I know I must work at.

We talk of course of the alluring perfection that is Mazzy,
Her personality so exciting, uplifting, and Jazzy,
With her fluffy paws that one could surely call snazzy,
That make me long for her so badly.

It’s hard to believe that one so gorgeous is available for love,
Your fur is so white and creamy, you’re like a dove,
Your beautiful ears which fit on your slim figure just like a firm glove,
Even in the worst of times you can bring me back above.

Yarn is your favorite toy,
Watching you play just gives me such joy,
A feeling in my heart that one couldn’t destroy,
Oh, now how you could never annoy.

Have I not mentioned your long fluffy tail?
So beautiful its presence leaves a firm trail,
For its grace could never fail,
To impress those who all look and are male.

Water is not your best friend,
But that’s alright for I shall attend,
To all your needs that you shall append,
For our love shall never end.

All the people surely love your personality,
For your friendly mind has no brutality,
Any act you commit could never be an illegality,
For your wondrous thoughts are the perfect mentality.

I know I could never be good enough for you,
Your ravishing eyes so perfectly blue,
Your love is something that I must pursue,
Oh Mazzy, Oh Mazzy, I love you, I do.






Trekker

I have something to tell you that might sound a bit crazy,
You see, all those who live, they love Miss Mazzy,
This may sound a little too impossible to be true,
In proof I offer these words following this cue:
There are many things in this world that offer amazement
But few, if any, can compare to Mazzy’s catermazement.
For her beauty is greater than Vega,
The star who is the one, the all, the omega,
Whose beauty was so great she led Altair astray,
So taken by her that he let his herd wander the Milky Way.
Until the Sky King got kind of mad.
But that is a different story and kind of sad.
Back to Miss Mazzy, for everyone must know
That as pretty as Mazzy is, she just isn’t for show.
Inside her beauty, beats a heart that is true.
So just like in Pokemon, Miss Mazzy, I choose you…





Uncle Shylock

I have a picture pinned to my wall
An image of you and of me and we're laughing, we're loving it all
Look at our life now, tattered and torn
We fuss and we fight and delight in the tears that we cry until dawn

Hold me now, warm my heart
Stay with me, let loving start, let loving start
Hold me now, warm my heart
Stay with me, let loving start, let loving start

You say I'm a dreamer, we're two of a kind
Both of us searching for some perfect world, we know we'll never find
So perhaps I should leave here, yeah, yeah go far away
But you know that there's no where that I'd rather be
Than with you here today

Hold me now, warm my heart
Stay with me, let loving start, let loving start
Hold me now, warm my heart
Stay with me, let loving start, let loving start

You ask if I love you, well what can I say?
You know that I do and that this is just one of those games that we play
So I'll sing you a new song, please don't cry any more
And then I'll ask your forgiveness though I don't know
Just what I'm asking it for

Hold me now, warm my heart
Stay with me, let loving start, let loving start
Hold me now, warm my heart
Stay with me, let loving start, let loving start






Aramec

In breathing sweet, I must compete
If not to hold your hand
But for a time. I submit rhyme
And all for it to stand
Beside your side. I cannot hide
The way my passions ran
Straight for your heart. And so I start
My bid to be your man.






Melissa Rose

I love you more than words can say
I hope I know that every day

I know we've had our ups and downs
and there have been times I've made you frown

but in the end we always come through
because we work through it and start anew

When I'm not there I think of you
I hope you'll say you love me too






IndexInfinity

Here are 3 haikus (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haiku) written about my undying passion for you.

Oh dearest Mazzy
Your radiant tail shimmers
You are my goddess

My heart fills with love
At even a thought of you
My heart is all yours

All of the roses
in the world could not show you
my eternal love






Tyler Bubblar

As my literary skills are lacking in my ability to express my feelings for our eBachelorette I have decided to express my inner feelings through the majesty of song. Without further ado this one is for you Mazzy!


[flash(425,350)]http://www.youtube.com/v/gGhIzgp3q4w[/flash]






Greeling

G is for Gorgeous, You make Gosling look grotesque.
R is for Romantic, No one loves quite like you do.
E is for Empty, the feeling I get when you are gone.
E is Excess, I need more of you to make my life complete.
L is Lust, the feeling I get when you walk into a room.
I is for I don’t know what to use for I
N is for NEEDS MORE GREELING!!!
G is for oh Great I forgot I was suppose to write about Mazzy and not just me.






WJ: Wow. That was. Yeah. Anyways! Miss Mazzy, you now have to figure out which poems you will accept tonight and which two will be banished to DMV3’s cold, stanky abyss.
What are you going to do?

20 minutes later…

MC: Well.. I feel my choices are pretty obvious to me at this point. I’m a bit saddened to have to say goodbye to two people already. Can we at least give them a candle out there in the snow?

WJ: Ok. Blondie, would you bring the suitors back into the room? And how are they doing in there so far?

BN: They all seemed to take it fairly well, Tyler was for sure the most confidant: I overheard him say his poem was as oiled and as smooth as a stick of butter. And I have a suspicion that Mel went commando during that whole thing.

WJ: All right! Apollo221, how did that go?

Apollo:



WJ: Really. That...WAS AMAZING!

Miss Mazzy_Cat, the time has come for you to choose the suitors who will advance to the next round and say your goodbyes to the two individuals who will not be moving on. But first, I believe you had something to read to them?

MC:

The Perfect Dream

If ever I closed my eyes,
And dreamed a perfect dream.
I'd only see your face,
Shining down at me.
Radiant in love,
Joyous in my sight.
Blissful with your energy,
Your eyes shining bright.

Never have I owned,
A love of the same.
It wraps me in its brilliance,
To sweetly say my name.
My heart gently swayed,
By the fire of your soul.
In your arms I wish to be,
To fulfill our loves full role.

WJ: Beautiful. I haven’t teared up this much since The Notebook...errrr I mean its been a while since I’ve cried. (My brother Meryle died and I tried not to cry, but then cried a lot.)
Ok! Mazzy, what have you decided?

MC: I have decided.. As much as it pains me to do this... I have picked the two I will be saying goodbye to. Greeling - I adore you, but you wrote yourself a poem! I can not have a man who loves himself more than me. Goodbye. And Tyler.. I adore ya man, but you are not a poet. I need a poetic heart! Goodbye.

WJ: There you have it. Greeling and Tyler Bubblar you can grab one last drink free of charge and then Blondeninja will tie you up and kick you out to the cold. We wish you all the best…

Tune in next time for Episode 2 of the eBachelorette! During this upcoming episode the suitors will have to list 10 things I love out of a long list of things I have put together! These are some of my favorite things. It can be tangible or not. Actions or not. But they must be things I love.




Mazzy_Cat waits with her whip…