World Tour - Albania

Day 3,760, 15:23 • Published in USA USA • by Pfenix Quinn
World Tour - Albania



After taking Brother Salty's sage advice and packing a nice snack to keep my energy up during my life on the e-road, yours truly has taken off on that e-world tour I've been meaning to do for quite some time.

I am not very imaginative, so I decided to do it alphabetically. First stop: beautiful Albania! Come ride with me!!




Although I am riding on an e-bicycle provided by the legendary Socialist Freedom Party Bicycle Brigade, which proves you can be environmentally friendly even when fomenting world-wide revolution, it took a surprisingly short time to arrive at the island. And I must say, I didn't really expect Albania to boast so much tropical beauty.

Here on Palawan, Albania there are beautiful lagoons and many green hills under an endless lovely blue sky:



Somewhat surprising to me, most of the people here don't speak a word of Shqip.

Instead, there's a pretty wild mix of languages spoken like Agutayen, Cuyonon, Palawano, Tagbanwa and Hiligaynon, along with the occasional bit of Tagalog, English-likes, near-Spanishes of various types, Bahasae, Cantoneses and Vietnameses.

On a clear day, you can almost see the Philippine islands of Panay, Negros and Mindanao across the Sulu Sea to the east. And who knew there was a sea named after Mr. Sulu?? The things you learn when traveling! (Oh my!!)




Hey, since I am way super-duper-political and stuff, while I'm in the neighborhood, I've decided I'd go ahead and lay claim to the Spratly Islands, just to the west from here, in the name of the international proletariat.

I am composing a very nice letter right now to the leaders of Brunei, China, Malaysia, Philippines, Taiwan and Vietnam to let them know that I've resolved the dispute and that the islands are now Being Run by the e-Communist Internationale on behalf of the e-workers of the e-world. I'm sure they'll be pleased, don't you think?

And hey, it's yet another victory for the peaceful foreign policy of the anarcho-socialist beings of the e-galaxy! Woot!




Naturally, being a Professor and all, I have been catching up on the Albanian press while I am here.

Sad to report that it is, to put it thinly, anemic, consisting almost entirely of requests for "25 comments". Which I assume is code for "send weed", right?

The remaining stuff is just a few ancient and yellowing whine-a-thons from a "Colin Lantrip 3" person, who seems to have once been some sort of bigwig babaylan, as the Tabanwa say. Evidently he was responsible for hanging chickens upside down for ritual slaughter. Then people stopped believing in his magic powers or something so he rage-quit? I dunno.

Always on the lookout for a good quip, my favorite ritualized whinge from the Great and Powerful Lantrip is where he intones: "You are for the most part a bunch of disorganized basket cases".

LOL. Good times. Good times.



Well, that's it for today from beautiful Palawan, Albania. The press here is meagre, but the scenery is gorgeous and the crocodile sisig is deeee-lish!





Next time, che, I'm off to Argentina. Get ready to Tango!