Join the new world

When the illustrious and legendary PigInZen recently rejoined the e-living, I was reminded of his famous dictum: "Don't be a dick".



Remebering that, and recalling all of the copying and pasting hard work that went into my 20-part series on combatting tyranny, it struck me that it might be a e-socially responsible thing to do to broach this general theme of "Don't be a dick" from another direction. As it were.



Some of you are aware of the latest kerfuffle within the ranks of the socialist freedom movement. I don't want to kick that pile of poo here. But, yeah, that was another motivation for this article.


When something like that happened a long time back to PQ, he skipped on over to a small outfit called the Outlaw Motorcycle Gang (OMG) and took to the open road for a while.




Now, having been reincarnated in this more peaceful and sober mode and also being a good bit older and -- well, we'll just leave it at older -- this time around I am hanging out (for now) in a bucolic retirement community called the Old Farts.

It is very quiet and peaceful here. I like that quite a lot. Really, nothing ever happens. And that suits me just fine.

I did post two comments on party feed when I first arrived at the Old Farts Home. I'm afraid that might've actually woken up a couple of the sound sleepers. Apologies for that. Noobie error.

But. I am a little nervous that by writing this article I may be further disturbing the community standards for Old Fart laziness.

Oh well. Whatever. As George F-Bomb Custer would no doubt say, if he could be bothere😛 F*** 'em!! 🙂



OK. On with the lesson...





The first step to not being an asshole is being able to recognize who is an asshole.

Here is a list of common, everyday assholey behaviors.


Of course there are e-versions of each of them. I'll leave it up to the wise commentariat to provide notes on how these items translate into in-game activity...

1. Personal insults.

2. Invading other people's personal territory.

3. Uninvited personal contact.

4. Threats and intimidation.



5. Sarcastic jokes and teasing used to deliver insults.

6. Withering flame wars via e-mail or messaging.

7. Status slaps intended to humiliate.

8. Public shaming and status degradation rituals.

9. Rude interruptions.

10. Two-faced attacks.

11. Dirty looks.

12. Treating people like they are invisible.



By the way, though not entirely scientific, googling a person's name plus "asshole" also provides some interesting results.

For example "Donald Trump asshole" returns about 7,590,000 results.

Wow!









Here's a handy checklist:


1. Don't make people feel oppressed, humiliated, de-energized or belittled.

2. Apologize if you act like asshole.

3. Face your past. Knowing you're an asshole is the first step towards change.

4. Do not mistreat people who are less powerful than you.

5. Resist becoming an asshole. Don't think you must do "what you have to do" to fit in. That is just accomodating assholes. Which leads to...

6. Walk away and stay away from assholes. Don't be afraid to leave a bad situation.

7. View acting like an asshole as a communicable disease.

8. Focus on win-win situations. Life is only a win-lose proposition if you're an asshole.




9. Focus on ways in which you are worse than others. Stay humble.

10. Focus on ways in which you are similar to others. That's a good way to make friends.

11. Tell yourself: 'I have enough.' Envy and discontent over material things are often the "gateway drugs" to assholism. Be happy. Don't stomp on others.







Let's assume that you, dear reader, are not an asshole. But you have to cope with one. Or two. Or maybe more. What can you do?


1. Hope for the best, but expect the worst. Assholes will usually disappoint you. Lower your expectations of them.

2. Develop some healthy indifference and emotional detachment. Life often isn't fair. Don't let that wreck you.

3. Look for small wins. Assholes often pride themselves on total control. Look for the cracks in their wall. That's where the light gets in.

4. Limit your exposure. Find pockets of safety, support and sanity. Seek refuge from insanity.

5. Expose them. If you have the personality type or humor to do so yourself, cool. Otherwise you might want to consider banding together with others. As my mother used to say, "When three people tell you you're drunk, it's time catch a cab home."

6. De-escalate and re-educate. This kind of calm response works best with when the asshole isnt' a chronic, flaming asshole.





Q: How many assholes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. He holds up the light bulb and expects the universe to revolve around him.


Determining if a player (or your boss, or whatever) is really an incorrigible asshole, or maybe is just having a bad day, or simply has a big personality that occasionally bounces off the wall, sometimes requires making more careful observations.

Here are some additional pro-tips on spotting assholes, particularly if they are in some kind of role of authority:





1. Thinks that the rules are different for him.

2. Doesn't understand that having a given position doesn't make them a better or more respectable person. Respect is earned, not granted by temporarily holding some title.

3. Requires handlers and often a little crowd of yes-men.

4. Requires fulfillment of special requests in order to be happy.

5. Relates to people mainly in terms of what they can do for him.

6. Judges people totally through his own lens. Ignores other peoples' point of view, social or community values and norms.

7. Judges other peoples results but only his own intentions.

8. Asks others to do what he won't do himself.

9. Calls people any time of the day or night. Ignores other peoples' personal time and space.

10. When faced with criticism or even omission or mis-understanding, believes the world is out to get him.



11. Slows down or halts other peoples' progress. Don't hesitate to abandon an asshole who holds you back.

12. Kisses up and kicks down.

13. Can't take it. Dishes out criticism, but can't engage in an adult conversation that involves negative feedback.

14. Short fuse.



15. Bad credit in the psychological sense. Takes a lot of credit while not recognizing the work of others.

16. Canker sore. A history of bad feelings follows this guy around. The world might be willing to tolerate talented assholes, but that doesn't mean you have to.

17. Flamer. Always trash talking.

18. Downer. Leaves de-motivated people in his wake.

19. Card shark. Sees everybody as a competitor.

20. Army of one. Sometimes having an asshole on your team can be an asset, but that won't matter if the whole team quits because of him.








Remember, my friends:

Make eye contact. Keep believing in and living in truth. Be kind to our languages and to each other. Get off the e-sofa once in a while and contribute to a good cause. Be a universal patriot with strong values, not a narrow nationalist utterly lacking in ethics.

Be as courageous as you can.


Thanks for playing,
RFW