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Editorial

Every New Year I clear out my eRepublik friends list, deleting the dead ones.

A sad and nostalgic thing to do, saying so long to avatars you've known and loved for many years. Think of it like giving them a Viking funeral, or at least shoving that canoe out to sea. X. Delete. Done. Farewell.


It is equally melancholy to see newer players recently befriended shrivel up and blow away. Typically such noobers just couldn't find a reason to stick with it. Having returned from the e-dead myself, I know the feeling. In my case, building up strength and whatnot to some absurd degree lost its appeal, the so-called "economic module" left me bored, and I'd run out of things that made me giggle regarding politics and art.

Of course there are also the occasional schaudenfreude moments. When someone I've not had a good game-relationship with reaches the end of the e-line, I think of that old Mark Twain chestnut, "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."


Starting over with a new account made me feel fresh and sparkly again - for a while. Sadly, after being reincarnated I suffered another bout of boredom. But I learned this time around that it doesn't hurt to take a nice long break. Gave me a perkier perspective when I started up the ol' e-engine again. Kinda like that year I worked in a funeral home to feel good about myself, just the fact that I was breathing.



So here I sit, not brokenhearted. Just getting back into it after several months off. Been shoving those e-dead off of my Friends List, sending them on their way down the e-River Styx. Makes me realize that saying "I'm sorry" is often the same as "I apologize" -- except at a funeral.

Why do I remove the e-bodies? It's because eRepublik is for the e-living. If I can't say something sort of fun and relevant to the folks who actually log in, then am I not just writing for the damned?




Speaking of which, perhaps Rimbaud said it best:


"I ran away. O witches, O misery, O hatred, my treasure's been turned over to you!

"I managed to make every trace of human hope vanish from my mind. I pounced on every joy like a ferocious animal eager to strangle it.

"I called for executioners so that, while dying, I could bite the butts of their rifles. I called for plagues to choke me with sand, with blood. Bad luck was my god. I stretched out in the muck. I dried myself in the air of crime. And I played tricks on insanity.

"And Spring brought me the frightening laugh of the idiot.

"So, just recently, when I found myself on the brink of the final squawk! it dawned on me to look again for the key to that ancient party where I might find my appetite once more."



So here I am. With a fresh newspaper concept underway for your reading enjoyment. And what better way to start fresh than by burying the bodies and contemplating... well, as Paul Samuelson put it, "Funeral by funeral, theory advances."


This time around the e-bend I thought it might be fun to try a more-or-less standard newspaper format drawing inspiration from a few fun concepts that have bounced around in the Press over the years, rotating through some regular features like: some political news, some war news, some how-to's, a few interviews, a bit of the ol' world press review, and of course the occasional PQ-esque brain-fart.

Long-term survivors of eRepublik may recognize some of those writers I'm trying to honor in this way. If I'm especially lucky, maybe I'll even be able to cough up a Fluffertonian nut or two from time to time.








MPP with Pakistan

Long-time far-left peacenik and sand addict Dio Hostilian, the President of Pakistan, recently proposed a Mutually Assured Destruction Protection Pact with the Chicken-led eUSA gummint.

The measure passed the US Senate in a lopsided 23-5 vote. According to sources, a boatload of "tobacco" was unloaded in the national capital in Frankfort, KY a short time earlier, raising speculation that some votes may have been bought.

Some people say that, having floated down the Ohio and Kentucky Rivers for many days, and passing through a number of hands, a good bit of the "tobacco" may have gone missing before reaching the capital. There are wild rumors, which I won't repeat, that well-known "tobacco" advocate, Jude Connors, was spotted at the Mussel Shoals Landing north of Frankfort just after Christmas. This has not been confirmed.

A few well-known trouble-makers and nogoodniks voted against the measure. Your intrepid investigative journalists here at RFD have asked the contrarians to share their views, but we've not heard back from them yet. For now, we'll logically just have to assume that they hate America.



Life here on the socialist freedom commune is idyllic in every way. All things are held in common, so there is enough for all of our players' needs. We break bread from house to house, and eat our meat with gladness and singleness of heart. There are none among us who lack. For as many who are possessors of factories or houses, they have brought the prices of things that they've sold and distribution is made unto every comrade as has need.

Nevertheless, we know that out there in the English, many do sell things and keep back part of the price, thinking it is their own, conceiving such things in their hearts as do displease the revolutionary spirit of the Great Commander, Osmany Ramon.



So. In order to better help them understand their errors and to protect the children from their depredations, we needs must try to understand the English and their strange ways.


Herewith then, a few newsworthy notes for the innocent who have not yet taken a year amongst the English...


The English government continues to be led, for now, by a heretical sinner and fornicator with the ridiculous name "chickensguys". S/he is aided and abedded by 3 co-conspirators from the Perfidious and Albionic "We The People" cabal, plus an old Whale. Despite the great fear engendered by the chickeny English ways, enough positive energy has been generated by various Friends that, to date, no major earthquakes have struck.

We are especially lucky that two socialist-freedom comrades can keep an eye on possible English shenanigans, with seats in the Ministry of Defense and in the all-important Governership -- a post whose duties are so secret and so profound that only a person of the utmost moral terpitude could fulfill them.

As the country goes to the polls on January the 5th (Old Calendar) / Day 4429 (New Calendar), let us keep our revolutionary spirits high and hope for a huge turnout in favor of the born-again freedom-socialist brother-sister, "PimpDollaz", and his/her ticket of Most Excellent Friends!




Here is a round-up of some of the more interesting English-language articles in the world press.


Australier

Erepublik 12 - Meme Competition - Lawkee

It's damned funny.


Canader

2020, Thoughts from the Pickle Barrel

Thedillpickl is a prince among pickle-men. Circling back to this edition's Editorial musings, it looks like our Old Friend is thinking about packing it in.

For you, old buddy, here is an Old Lang Sign:



Indier

Waking up after 8.5 years of Cryosleep

Niks/Rahul K, on the other hand, is returning e-World after a long, long hiatus. I mean really long -- like 8 years. Holy Moley! Welcome back!


Eirer


The Bhoys are Back

Always loverly to hear about war against the English. This is just a real nice article, like. Wish there was more like this state-side.


Nederlander

TOP5 Pointless Laws in eNL

Since the above article slagged off on NL a bit, thought it'd be fair to give a little taste of what's up in the Lowlands. Plus I always love a good quick rant about gummint bureaucracy.






I well and truly hope you enjoyed this re-vamped version of "Radio Free Dixie"! Please feel free to provide feedback and suggestions...

In-game: Use the handy comment section below, or send a message RF Williams, or chat me up on the SFP Party feed, after you've joined the only party that has implemented full-bore e-anarcho-communism, or...

External: areyoufingkiddingme@idgaf.edu