[WookCP] I know, I know...it's late, but I got here in the end!
Day 2,500, 04:45
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Published in United Kingdom 
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by
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by 10 Downing Street
An overdue update and other stuff…
Well slap my thigh and call me Gertrude!
It’s been quite a hectic couple of weeks both in game and in real life, but I owe you lovely eUKers an article, so I’ve sat myself down with a can of Grolsch that I picked up at the train station on the way home and I’ve written something….
First up...look...it’s the Country President’s official newspaper! Huzzah! After some gentle persuasion on my part, the admins leapt into action and set new email addresses for all our orgs, so that we could reset the passwords and take them back under our control. This was a major part of my election manifesto...so TICK. Done that.
Smashed that…
War and stuff…
We went into Norway then on into Sweden to reciprocate the help our friends Germany had given to us when Assguard decided to join in with the gangbang of our brave nation last month. Germany had been fighting both Finland and Sweden for quite some time, so when they decided to pull out of the conflict, I fully understood their reasoning.
This didn’t deter us though and along with the Netherlands we managed to wipe both Norway and Sweden! A superb effort from the entire eUK, but also from our many allies who I also saw fighting with us.
With the campaign won in Sweden, Finland suddenly came alive and decided to push through a Natural Enemy law against us. However myself, my cabinet and some canny individuals from various Military Units got together and managed to start a Resistance War in Norrland & Sameland, the only region which had a border with the Finnish.
With the RW won, Finland’s NE was redundant and so we now look towards helping one of our neighbours….
Even Sven knows we did a good job...bye bye Sweden…
We’ve never been on great terms with Ireland...certainly not in the 18 months I’ve been playing at any rate. But these days we do find ourselves on the same side in alliance circles, with Sirius and Aurora working together to achieve mutual goals.
Currently the Irish are being overrun by the Republic of Moldova. These crazy Moldovans had the nerve to take a foothold in the eUK a few months ago too, so there is a bit of payback due. Hence when one of our trigger happy UKPP Congressmen, UROSZero, pressed the NE Moldova button, it wasn’t the end of the world.
The Irish could do with a second front being opened and I think we would enjoy a fight against someone other than Norway or Sweden. With this in mind I wouldn’t cry too hard for our diminishing colonies in Scando country. As we have found out...we can always take them back another time
😃
Moldovans...those crazy, crazy individuals…
Wook’s Watching...honest…
Overdue and unexpected prizes are always great...right?
I have been watching all of you. My vCP, Rob the Bruce, has installed CCTV in almost all of your bedrooms and the sights I have seen would turn the stomach of many a normal chap. However I am, naturally, made of sterner stuff and I have resisted the urge to lose my lunch whilst watching WayneKerr play DayZ wearing only a pair of purple Speedos, or hotfuz biting his toenails during an exceptionally boring episode of Casualty or even when I happened upon Mick Cain dancing naked, slapping himself all over with a week old mackerel.
No, damn it, I kept my eyes peeled throughout all of that. I have even read everything in our glorious media, including Dapper’s dire attempts at trolling, so that I can bring you the winners for the first two weeks of my
PRIZE TIME
Having taken everything into consideration...fighting, writing and politicking...these are my top three eUK citizens for the past two weeks:
Week One
3rd Place - Paul Tyndale with 573pts wins 25 Q7 tanks
2nd Place - Fataliix with 635pts wins 50 Q7 tanks
1st Place - Paulus G with a whopping 1,243pts wins 100 Q7 tanks
Week Two
3rd Place - suezo31 with 476pts wins 25 Q7 tanks
2nd Place - VoodooMike71 with 603pts wins 50 Q7 tanks
1st Place - Master Hofkens with 955pts wins 100 Q7 tanks
T&Cs...you must be an eUK citizen, the points are decided by me and no bribes will be accepted, unless it’s a signed picture of Basil Brush in a compromising position. BOOM BOOM!
Now there's still two more weeks to go before I unveil my Wook's Watching monthly winners, so keep on fighting, publish some entertaining articles and have your say on what's going on in the eUK.
With that in mind...congratulations to all the citizens of this fine country, even though you may not have won a prize this time and in fact may be slipping into a pit of depression because of this...you’re all winners to me
😛
Thanks once again for reading and look out for the second part of Behind the furry mask...coming soon!
WookieO
eUK Country President
Royal Whipping Boy
Hairiest Dentist
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Comments
That WookieO is one damn fine bloke.
Go on, give this a vote, comment and shout it out too.
I was trying to figure out which of the many deviant sexual acts you've had me perform had earned me those tanks.
It was the one where you had the pink rubber gloves on...
At the time there was also a border between Finnish Aland and Svealand.
The Finns choose not to push for a battle as it was evident by then that we were (as promised) withdrawing from Scando.
That's simply not true Alfa. Svealand does not border Aland. Aland only has a border with Western Finland.
We halted a Finnish attack, which was a vital manoeuvre.
Aland doesn't have a border with Svealand.
We haven't withdrawn on purpose. 😛
you are correct.......my bad.
Its actually very unreal cause Aland is a Swedish-speaking region who has "no-tax" liquor and cheap Baltic prostitutes so the ferry from Stockholm(Svealand) to Aland is very popular. But the game mechanics is pretty crazy i mean just look at Las Malvinas 😃
Not sure why foreigners think we in the UK give two 'flowers' about the falklands?
Most of us (non-Scots) didn't give a flower about Scotland breaking away or not and thats a more local, larger and objectivly important plot of land.
UROSzero was also advised/asked to push the button as letting LETO get a foothold in the region was obviously a no-brainer and shows that our congress doesn't have to debate things ad infinitum before making a correct and easy decision.
As I stated above it turned out to be the right decision to make.
Unfortunately many UKPP Congress members have now got the reputation for making rash decisions without talking with the rest of Congress or other members of the government before pressing their lovely shiny buttons. I would suggest they need to be advised/asked to get more involved in Congress rather than simply doing whatever they want.
We do what our electorate want.......low taxes, high tariffs, War, etc...
Other parties surely do the same by whacking taxes up, talking about legislation or social funding by the state.
As we're outnumbered only our 'agreeable' proposals make it thru as rash as they may be.
Just because a proposal is doomed to fail doesn't mean we won't try to push our policies by pushing the button.
Great article, from the clear winner of the Greatest 8 Foot Overly Hirsute CP competition.
Cheers Wookie, nice one o7
Nice term. Hope you aren't the next one to leave the game. lol
Enjoyable read as always, keep up the fine work.
o/
Outstanding article CP Wook.Well done !!.Voted,subed o7
Woot good job RN on week two. thanks for nominating me . o7
In my defence i have an incurable mackerel fetish
Sounds fishy.
Tried it with smoked mackerel and now i'm on 20 a day.......feck
Basil Brush? Would that be on the next page of Oz, right after Rupert the Bear?
Errrrmmmm.....BOOM BOOM?!?
[removed]
Take out Moldova.
Trying to.
Hopefully we won't have his MoFA trying to surrender initiative and the war on the cusp of victory like we just had in Sweden!
When are you running for CP Alfa?
Give back Las Malvinas to Argentina.
The Falklands region isn't included in the game so that would require us o hack into the code, create the region, start a worldwide poll about their status and then implement the decision of that poll.
Unless you mean in reality in which case....No UK party has that down as a policy point and we're more moved by larger concerns like the economy, Devolution, EU and so forth.