Citizen awakens from a 13 year coma!

Day 5,927, 17:01 • Published in USA New Zealand • by Sir George Grey

Today we bring you a fascinating story of hope and determination.

Kyle Frandsen was a model citizen. He always showed up for work, come rain or shine, he worked every day. The moment the server reset, there he was, lunch bag in hand ready to take on the world.

He decided that the normal 9-5 workday with a spot of training after work was not enough. Kyle owed it to his country of birth, South Africa, to try and make a difference. On day 1165, after multiple chat meetings in #eSouth_Africa on IRC, Kyle made the decision to move into politics.

On day 1165, Kyle joined the United Democratic Alliance, under the leadership of none other than Al Kazar, a fearless leader who did wonders for the country, some of his achievements include:
* Party President of Social Democratic Party (twice)
* Speaker of Congress (four times)
* Deputy Speaker of Congress (twice)
* Member of Congress (six times)
* Party President of United Democratic Alliance (twice)

He was given an opportunity to interview Al Kazar on day 1169, and it would be here in this conversation that Al Kazar discovered the tenacity that Kyle had to make a difference for his country.

On day 1191, Kyle put his name in the hat to run for congress. This was shortly after a PTO threatened to derail the country, a PTO that Al Kazar, Kyle, the 19 time president Fhaemita Malodorous and a host of other South African heros managed to overturn.

In a very short term, Kyle had made a name for himself in the political world. By day 1248, Kyles achievements were:
* Party President of the United Democratic Alliance
* Intern to the Minister of Population Development, Al Kazar.
* Communications Officer of the United Democratic Alliance
* Recruitment Officer of the United Democratic Alliance
* Private in the Delta Dawgs



Kyle's greatest achievement came in the form of an interview with none other than the man himself, The Stig.

As almost all good stories go, tragedy struck. After his third successful election as party president of the UDA, the Liberty Legion, runners up in the election, provided congratulations in the form of a party. What started as a party, ended up as a 5 day bender in Thailand. Kyle and his vice president contracted Glow in the Dark Herpes, three varieties of Cat Flu and while the VP made a full recovery, Kyle eventually ended up in a coma due to the Glow in the Dark Herpes blocking the tubes to his flux capacitor.

As luck would have it, Kyle was moved to a care facility where a bunch of nurses in their mid to late twenties worked. Late last month, he was in a room with a nice fresh breeze blowing through the window and a small radio was just filling the room with the music from when he was younger. A nurse was checking Kyles vital signs when a Justin Bieber song started playing and she began to sing along. Kyle was never a Bieber fan, quite the opposite actually, he despised his music. While the nurse was reading his blood pressure, Kyle got out of bed and turned the radio off, muttering about a "horrible girly voice."

Yes folks, it was a miracle. Kyle awoke from his 13 year coma. His vital signs were as strong as they were before he got sick. He was later released and is wanting to get back into his old life of training, politics and war.

eNZ Chronicles managed to ask him a few questions.

eNZ Chronicles: "Kyle, wow, 13 years in a coma, you must be well rested?"
Kyle: "Nah, I'm pretty tired to be honest. I've been binge watching Breaking Bad and Game of Thrones until 4am for the last week."

eNZC: "Not what I meant but okay. Tell us, what are your plans now?"
Kyle: "I'm not sure yet. I am working to get my strength up, I am rallying friends and family to get behind me, who knows, maybe I'll dive back into politics. Who knows? One thing I can say for sure is Fortnite sucks and I won't be playing that!"

eNZC: "Tell me about it. Try WarZone, it's way better."
Kyle: "What?"

eNZC: "Nevermind. We have to ask, what was Glow in the Dark Herpes like?"
Kyle: "Super fun, it was like a had a light saber. The smell was weird though."

eNZC: "Right. I think that's enough for today. We hope your road to recovery is smooth and we look forward to seeing you in office again."
Kyle: "Thanks. By the way, what's the deal with Bruce Jenner, I can't find him online anymore?"

eNZC: "I said we've had enough here."
Kyle: "Later skater."

We wish Kyle all of the best for the future and definitely recommend that he stays away from Thailand.