Why Zheng He for West Virginia?

Day 1,557, 10:03 • Published in USA USA • by Zheng He

The word of the day is "Why?".

News from the Zheng He for West Virginia campaign headquarters.

As we gear up for the elections, the Zheng "Jed" He campaign headquarters have been going into overdrive. Support and donations have been pouring in, and mass mails have been going out.

The most recent question from potential doners has been: Why in the hell would anybody vote for Zheng "Jed" He? So we have put together the following rock solid reasons.

10) I'm not sure I want to be in Congress, but Israel Stevens asked me real nice.

9) I've been playing this game for a long time and I know stuff. (Zheng He the Stuff Knower!)

8 ) I used to write funny *and* informative articles.

7) I won't take bullshit or give bullshit, and I ain't no hypocrite. (Wait, does that disqualify me from politics?)

6) I'm smarter than most of the other jerks in this game.

And now for a brief word from a member of the campaign staff, inside the headquarters.

(See? Don't judge a book by its cover.)

5) When I don't know what to do, I'll ask smart people like Kria Erikson, George Armstrong Custer, Oblige, ]Israel Stevens, Jude Connors, jerseygirldani, Liquid Oxygen, rainy sunday, TTi09, Vanek26, or Bombonato.

4) I have ideas. When they're good I push them, when they're bad I laugh.

3) I'll vote for the good of the country, and nothing else.

2) I was CO of the 25th Tropic Lightning Division and everybody that served with, under, and above me will support me for Congress. I have no enemies in this country.

1) When I say I'll do something, I do it. Period. End of story.

Like, when I do this.


And I say if y'all are dumb enough to elect me to Congress, I'll be a good Congress-critter!



Private Zheng He
Newspaper writer (been there)
Army Officer, CO of the 25th Tropic Lightning Division (done that)
Solder in the Special Forces (doing!)
Colonel 2-clicker (always)

PS: I won't buy votes. But if you're under level 25 and short on cash, I will spot you a moving ticket. But keep away from my girl while you're there!