Vote Wild and Wonderful Zheng He for West Virginia!

Day 1,555, 10:18 • Published in USA USA • by Zheng He

The word of the day is "WTF??".

Yeah, right, believe it or not, your favorite 2-clicker is running for Congress!

Yeah, inorite? Isn't he the guy that used to make fun of congress-critters? Isn't he the guy who wants to keep playing this game for 3 years while only 2-clicking? Isn't this the guy that stepped back from a leadership position in the Army to 2 click?

I FINALLY FOUND OUT THAT CONGRESS ONLY TAKES 2 CLICKS PER DAY!!

So why West Virginia? Believe it or not, I am fluent in the local dialect, having growed up in Appalacher. I don't git lost in no hollers, kin handle my 'shine, and kin shoot a squirrel from 200 yards. Right eye, left eye, or up the ass, you pick it!


(See that squirrel? I can shoot him.)

Why Congress and why now? Because this nation is in trouble. We have enemies that can't touch us. Hell they can't even RW back territories with names most of us can't spell or find on a map! We have the most solid and successful president in, like, forever, in his third month, and with a kickass cabinet! The economy is rocking and rolling so well that prices are so low we can't sell our shit.

In short, to summarize, to put it succinctly, and to make short story long, this nation is in trouble! We need serious, wise, careful, deep thinkers to get us back on the straight and narrow. And my advisory team will help!



As a newspaper writer (some fellow old fags might remember), I was known for writing insightful articles that made sense, were informative, and were always light hearted and a little funny. (And no gratuitous boobs!)

As an Army officer, I was known for integrity, dedication, hard work, loyalty, and above all, taking care of my soldiers.

More recently, as a solder I am known for faithfully following orders and hitting big hits when and where we need them. Twice I've given up BHs that I was chasing, in mid-fight, to put hits in a more important battle. (Or possibly General Liquid Oxygen was just messing with my head so that he could take the BH!)

As your congress-critter, I will represent us with honor and integrity. If the rest of congress, or the president, does something stupid I will tell them. If they something well, I will support them. As the West Point motto goes, for Duty, Honor, and Country.

Yes, I've done a few things. But I've never run for Congress. I humbly ask for your support by voting for Zheng He in Wild and Wonderful West Virginia!

Private Zheng He
Newspaper writer (been there)
Army Officer, CO of the 25th Tropic Lightning Division (done that)
Solder in the Special Forces (doing!)
Colonel 2-clicker (always)

PS: I won't buy votes. But if you're under level 25 and short on cash, I will spot you a moving ticket. Just keep away from my girl!