FUNNY

Day 1,419, 05:52 • Published in USA USA • by XxBusinessMogulexX

People WELCOME to another edition of B.M. Entertainment the newspaper that containes everything from Politics to Comedy.

In today's edition we have some jokes to cheer up you people. Enjoy.

And here we go:

Little Johnny

Little Johnny wakes up several nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parent's room.

Finally, one morning he says to his mom, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noises and when I look in your bedroom you`re bouncing up and down on him."

His mom is taken by surprise and says, "Oh...well...ah...well, I`m bouncing on his stomach because he`s fat and that makes him thin again." The boy responds, "That won`t work!" His mom says, "Why not?" The boy replies, "Because the lady next door comes by after you leave for work each day and blows him back up!



Silver Peanut Butter Jar

A Mom comes to visit her son John who's living with a female roommate named Samantha. John's mother doesn't like the idea of her son living with a woman, as he's in college and doesn't need any distractions. To ease his mother's worries, John invites her to stay for dinner.

During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two and this had only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and his roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what your thinking Mom, but I assure you, Samantha and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Samantha came to John saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver peanut butter jar. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote:

Dear Mother,
I'm not saying that you 'did' take the peanut butter jar from my house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the peanut butter jar. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love,
John

Several days later, John received an email from his Mother which rea😛

Dear Son,
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Samantha, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Samantha. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the peanut butter jar under her pillow...

Love,
Mom



Little Johnny #2


Little Johnny likes to gamble.

One day his dad gets a new job so his family has to move to a new city.

Johnny's daddy thinks, "I'll get a head start on Johnny's gambling."

So he calls the teacher and says, "My son Johnny will be starting your class tomorrow but he likes to gamble so you'll have to keep an eye on him."

The teacher says OK, she can handle it.

The next day Johnny walks into class and hands the teacher an apple and says, "Hi, my name is Johnny."

She says yes I know who you are.

Johnny smiles and says, "I bet you ten dollars you've got a mole on your butt."

The teacher thinks that she will break his little gambling problem so she takes him up on the bet.

She pulls her pants down and shows him her butt and there was no mole.

That afternoon, Johnny goes home and tells his dad that he lost ten dollars to the teacher and why.

So his dad calls the teacher and says, "Johnny said that he bet you that you had a mole on your butt and he lost."

The teacher says, "Yeah, and I think I broke his gambling problem."

Johnny's dad laughs and says, "No you didn't, he bet me a hundred dollars this morning that he'd see your ass before the day was over."



That's pretty much it for today Boyz and Gals.
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