White House Drunk Report
Day 3,402, 01:35
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Published in USA 
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by
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by Derphoof
PotUS here, with your White House Drunk Report.
This week, the workd bored the ever-living shit our of me for the most part.
I mean, South America is still fairly borked to all hell. Brazil got some regions back though, but Argentina is fully free. So that’s nice. Unfortunately, the rest of the world is boring as hell.
Our alliance keeps bickering internally over nonsense, and our congress seemingly never wants to risk going to war or spend money on war. Like, shit man we’ve got all that money. SO SPEND IT SOMETIME, you congressional jack-offs. Oh, and despite that, our MPP stack dwindles our war options to boring nonsense.
I mean, good lord. I get regular people MP’ing me for war, and congress won’tt even raise taxes to 2% to fund anything, including war. (Reminder, we have basically the lowest taxes and highest benefits.)
In other news, I keep decreasing the size of our federal government. Exepect a cut in the monthly budget soon. I decided to have a WHPR published, after taking some time off. Noboyd was reading it, so I decided to not publish it. It’s re-introduction is welcome. However, I won’t make someone waste their time writing, if nobody reads it.
There’s a reason the government of every other major nation is basic and smaller than ours. The community barely sustains our executive apparatus these days, and that goes for us too.
My secondary plan for war, get messed up due to a prior agreement. I’m trying to find a plan for war, but our MPP stack gives us no favors.
Anyways, this was your wnite house drunk report. Brought to you by Bacardi.
P.S. I love Yui, and I want his bizarre ginger bod. Ayy lmao.
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Approved and shit by Yui, the Drunk Overseer.
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WHPR is good even if a single new player reads it, and even when that doesn't happen, it might be of use for historical purposes.
And don't worry about congress. Sell them your war, and if you can't, adjust the situation to find ways where they need to approve your war.
Fake news!
Derp cannot into war
Guess you didn't please afterall.
" and our congress seemingly never wants to risk going to war or spend money on war. " LONG LIVE PACIFISM!
Maintain the eUSA as the great economy and production center it is. Fight wars thru MPPs!
Find a real eWar somewhere, direct eUSA based troops to fight for our ally. Instant war! The problems is that none of our MPP are involved in anything more than a training war. I do occasionally see some battles that are real eWars; competitive battles, cash offers on both sides, etc. If one of those were our allies, we could play a significant role by directing our damage there!
eUSA fighters are often traveling to those battles anyhow for the CC. They tend then to split along which side is paying more. If eUSA policy did favor one side in the cases of these real wars; and therefore fighters could fight from home rather than moving, we could significantly make a difference, make a little cc and provide some additional opportunities to set better battles in DOs.
It's hard to fight a real war without any true strategic objectives. Congress is risk adverse because there are very little advantages gained by fighting. We have 200pct Econ bonuses in all but one resource, which isn't particularly valuable yet. We don't really have the staying power to conquer and fight endless resistance wars as even when we're successful I.e U.K. Or Indos we don't stay there because there is limited value to fighting and keeping the territory versus the cost
It's hard to get people excited because there isn't any grand strategic vision.
Let's invade Kanada for summer fun.
voted for Rarara awn horses :3