The Banana Offensive

Day 384, 10:15 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by Bob Boblo

Ladies and Gentleman of eUK. The Holy Wars rage on, and many have been wondering when the so-called 'Boblo Masterplan' would come into fruition.

The time has come.

A great man once said, 'cometh the hour, cometh the man', but cometh this hour and something much darker will cometh, as I am launching my masterplan, and The E-Religion of Cabbage will almost certainly be destroyed for good.

My plan started way back when I joined Erepublik. The bananas prophecised of a great holy war that would serve as either the ultimate victory or defeat of the bananas, and told me to use a pig avatar. I didn't want anything to do with the bananas back then, but I still used the pig avatar, as I knew if it was my destiny to win or lose a war, than I should make sure I am in a position to do so.

Ever since then people trusted me with pigs. People have saw me as synonymous with pigs. But after fate entered me into the Banana's inner circle, I saw the light, and told me the secret behind my avatar. The trust was all a bluff.

Yesterday I captured Wilbur, and despite resisting for almost 10 hours, eventually with the brutal combination of furious machine gun bullets, grenades and mustard gas, he gave in to the ravages of death.

I then extracted his total awesomness and harnessed the power of the bananas to convert this into pure evil.

What have we done with this pure evil you say?

We have implanted into an millions of robotic armery, crafted by the inner circle of the bananas, creating an army of Super Daleks.

This is what we have done to the cabbage military comitee

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6t692kpqhs

And that is just the calm before the storm!

Prepare to crushed cabbages, the undefeatable force of the Dark Side of the Banana Jihad will OBLITERATE YOU!!!!!!

Mwuhuhahahahahaaaa