I look forward to serving as your DoIA!
Devoid
Hail, people of America! I wanted to greet you all, and introduce myself to you all in my not-quite-fictitious position of Director of Indian Affairs. I thought I'd talk a little bit about what we do, and what we plan to do.
We're a real thing.
As many of you know, the Indians were the original inhabitant of this continent. There were many Indian tribes all across this great land, from the Navajo in the southwestern desert to the Wampanoag in the medium wood of Massachusetts. They were a proud people, with advanced cultures and systems of belief. They all lived in teepees, and life was good.
Chillin' with the peace pipe
And then, well, I'll quote the immortal words of Iron Maiden:
White man came across the sea
He brought us pain and misery
He killed our tribes, he killed our creed
He took our game for his own need
It was a bad time. Eventually the white guys realized that what they were doing wasn't cool, and John C. Calhoun formed this organization in 1849.
Yeah, that's really him
So what do we do today? Well, we need to help out these people, to help them overcome these many years of oppression. I suggest casinos. We should put a casino in at least two states, preferably not fortresses. After all, it is those in the so-called "wastelands" that need our help most.
This project will needs lots of money, and we all know Congress isn't going to pony up. In fact, Congress thinks this can earn the government revenue, through the sale of casino licenses, as well as taking a cut of revenue at them. So, I have two casino licenses for sale. Who wants em? Which states should the casinos go in? I'm open to suggestions, and also bribes. Really, I'm not going to lie, I will totally accept a bribe. If you want to build a 5,000-gold resort in eConnecticut, you have to play ball my way.
You could own this.
Anyway, that's all for now. Hopefully in my role as Director of Indian Affairs, I can help our Indians climb out of poverty, and perhaps bring the rest of the country some joy.
Oh wait, you mean...India India? Like, the one in Asia? FFFFFFFFF
Comments
India FTW! 🙂
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too bad this is a useless position ;_;
finally rights to the red brotheren
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lol.. heh you misunderstanding "peoples living in india" with Indians you showing . We are not that native Indians - we came from Indus Vally civilization .... one of the most civilized & rich in the world.. even in modern world - w got 2nd Highest GDP, Most of your MNC look out for profits in India, and whn in recession your banks and companies failed and went bankrupt - we maintained over 6% GDP and not a single Company failed here... We are 2nd fastest developing Country, with one of youngest workforce in world , Your president says in his speech - "wake up, of Indians will take your Job"
Yes we are not too rich, but our pace shows that we will overcome that by 2020. Just for a suggestion Change your referred "Indians" to "Aryans" or peoples frm above link
Little known facts: Sitting Bull and Gandhi were of the same caste. Crazy Horse had a wild curry recipe. The Sioux used to sail up the Ganges while fighting off the Mughals. Calhoun was insane - if you can't tell by his picture.
they arent talking about india indians. native americans
<3 India
dot or feather?
dot or feather? [x2]
We need casinos! Gold appreciated 🙂
As a sidenote for the true Indians who are reading this, Devoid does know the difference between Native Americans and Indians. He's simply playing off of a well known joke here in the United States that mistakenly labels Native Americans as "Indians." Trust me, Devoid knows his stuff. 😉