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You are reading an article written by a citizen of eRepublik, an immersive multiplayer strategy game based on real life countries. Create your own character and help your country achieve its glory while establishing yourself as a war hero, renowned publisher or finance guru.

Flaco Uber Alles.

Day 1,378, 16:57 • Published in Canada Ireland

• by Flaco Jimenez

As seen on imaginary television..n00bs are fun

I hereby write in my newspaper for the first time in months.

I also declare myself El Presidente of eRepublik.

The term is for life and all future elections are suspended.

My edicts will be cruel and unjust, my fist iron, and my beer cold.

I am not cheap but can be bribed.

I like redheads with large breasts.

This will do nicely.

All hail El Presidente!