#2017: It's Gunna Get Nasty

Day 3,327, 10:59 • Published in USA USA • by Derphoof

I hear this is the cool new thing? This what the kids like?
Mood Music

/me blows the dust off the newspaper

What it do, everyone? It’s Derphoof, back at it again. Here to serve up some of the usual bullshit.

Except, dear Dio of the sands... I could not have dreamed up any crazier shit than what we have before us. I mean, the return of the failed PTOer himself. The one, the only….

No, it’s not frickin Reagan, you idiot.

It’s Childish Chickensguys.



“B-b-but he’s been gone for so long! Maybe he’s fine now? Haven’t seen him around in a while.”

Sorry, fam. He’s as childish as ever. He just plays as different characters, or changes his name and his country. If you recall, he was Dr. Walter Bishop and moved to Canada, and decided to try to influence them as much as possible. They didn’t really buy into it, so he moved to Japan, to mess with people there. All the while, he kept Marquis de Foxes as a multi here, as insurance for the future.

He’s just as much of a childish failure now, as he was then. Except this time, he’s more desperate than ever to crack back into the community he spurned.

Hell, he can’t even do it legally. He couldn’t get the community to let him in and do it the proper way. He’s just an illegal immigrant, trying to use the community for his own gain. Sad.



"B-b-but Derpy, the PTO? Isn’t that ancient history? Don’t people change?"

No. You see, CG styles himself as the Messiah of everything he comes into contact with. He’s everyone’s only hope. Yet, at the same time, Childish Chickensguys is… well… childish.

When he wasn’t getting his way with the community of the eUSA, he decided to let in a bunch of foreign forces in order to gain more political power. Usually, we like when our immigrants come in legally, by waiting in line and getting approval. CG, on the other hand, just wanted power.

And then when he did gain political power, he gave congress seats to people who sold citizenship, to gain more political power for himself. Ya know, classic PTO stuff, for when you can’t find any real support.

For cooperating with Ajay, and creating/supporting the PTO menace that plagued our community, forcing us to create dreaded UNITY elections, he was declared an Enemy of the State

Then, when things don’t go his way, he likes to ramble incoherently under the influence of his savior complex, and maybe some drugs. Childish as always. Throw a tantrum, take what you have, and go home… or to Kanada. Whatever.



Well, the childish don’t change. So, we just keep an eye out. Make sure CG doesn’t do crazy shit, start bot-netting, or bringing in PTO elements. I swear, I ain’t goin back to those Unity elections.

Also, SFP. Bruh. I know you don’t like dictatorship. Nobody really does. However, y’all gotta figure stuff out. I’m not usually an ass to you guys, nor do I like telling other parties what to do, but I’ll call out some shit when I see it.

Your congress system really is some shit.

I say that with love, but it’s not doing you any favors.

How does CG Marquis get the votes to get onto the ballot, without doing a damn thing? And above Jimmy of all people? He’s not really active in game, and he has 10 posts on your own forums. The account was just a vehicle to get CG citizenship in the US. So, I assume either people like candidates with no background, or more multis voted him up.

There’s nothing wrong with a democratic voting system to show who people want to be candidates. However, exercise some executive authority and take that as a suggestion. Rearrange the list to weed out the nobodies and the threats, if and when they appear.



So, if this is how it starts, 2017 is gunna get nasty. Be prepared for some crazy antics, and the return of the old, the crazy, the childish and the failed.

Buckle up. Grab your popcorn. Gird your loins. Go out and buy some good lube.

It’s gunna get nasty.