Last Night's Theocratic Christmas Party

Day 761, 19:09 • Published in South Korea Japan • by Donovan Thomas
Hail the Dios!

Hail Theocracy!

Hail to my brothers and sisters!

Note:Tonight's article is for the non-Theos


Dio I love Theocracy. If you discount the “Incurring the wrath” side of working directly for a God (and if you are a dedicated Theocrat there is no wrath, only the love of the Dio’s and your brethren) then there are a whole lot of perks. Just what am I talking about?

Allow me lead you behind the velvet rope for a moment and give you a glimpse of a bacchanal that makes Saturnalia look like a kid’s birthday party…



I speak of last night’s Theocratic Holiday Party.



Now one might think that being Theocrats we shun this time of year. Nothing could be further from the truth. Though our themes have very little to do with a certain carpenters birth we all still respect the winter solstice that the Dio’s have bestowed upon us (and never pass up a chance to shake what the Dio’s gave us).

What are these perks you might ask?

Well, when your boss is in possession of divine powers let’s just say that the expense account is rather full. 

Imagine the largest most fully stocked and open bar you have ever dreamed of… See the pic below? That’s what the mini bars in the hotel rooms looked like!

[img]http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2155/2237182378_191149f514.jpg?v=0[/img]

At a Theocratic Party there is no line at the bar… your glass just fills it’s self. 

Alcohol not your thing? Let’s just say that there was a lab and a greenhouse as well *wink wink*

What about the food?

Ahhhhh... The Food! My Panko Crusted Seared Ahi was so fresh the flesh still quivered and the Filet Mignon was sliced by the very cow that wore it… (Some time’s I think the Dios are merely masters of the quantum state, but then I realize that manipulating reality is just a reflex for them, I mean if no one sees the wave break it was merely a particle right? Don’t even get me started on that Austrian fellow's cat!)

And if meat, meat and more meat is not in your plan there was a literal cornucopia (I mean an actual cornucopia) of vegan and less bloody fare.

Yeah, so the food’s good… what about entertainment?

Entertainment you say? Well, let’s just say that what went on at the Coliseum in ancient days was amateur at best. Parties on Olympus make gladiatorial games look like backyard wrestling.

Yeah, but what was the entertainment?

What do you think? Do you think the hottest sexiest group of warriors in the eWorld sat around watching Lady Gaga and drinking mimosas? I mean, she was there… but she was how shall I say it, used for other things.



Fact is we were the entertainment. Single Combat to the death, Teams, Mixed doubles, you name it… there was swordplay, sniper contests, martial arts that put Krav Maga to shame. We killed each other over and over, painted ourselves with each other’s blood (when we weren’t drinking it) and $*#^@# like rabbits (groupies, not McEron) in the resulting battle lust until we fought some more (for those of you under the age of consent rea😛 We played cards)

And then the Dio’s brought us back to life and we did it again…

What did you expect? Pictionary and a cheese plate?

I could go into more detail but if you weren’t there it would only serve to heighten your jealousy and confusion.

We did have a dance contest. Pulekk was the clear winner… no one, and I mean no one does The Robot better… man can he pop and lock!



There were door prizes. But when you all have Q5 mansions and plenty of weapons what do you give away?

Well, Reiji Mitsurugi of course…

Yes our favorite Geisha was kind enough to offer him/her self as the door prize… He’s so cute isn’t he?

I can’t say who won him, but let’s just say I can still hear his giggles (or were they screams?) from down the hall.

Anyway, a grand time was had by all.

Oh, you weren’t there?

My bad...


Silent Leges Inter Arma!!!