Introducing the Monopoly Party
Day 969, 10:49
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Published in USA 
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by
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by ligtreb
Taking a break from my usual serious articles for some humor, even if I'm the only one who finds this entertaining.
I have bad news America. You have let me control my own political party. Now I'm free to pursue my hidden agenda:
1. Forcing everyone to play Monopoly
This will turn America into Zombieland. Me being a long-time USWP member should have given this away.
2. Buying every property on the board, and taking all your money.
I already have Boardwalk and Park Place, the oranges, the yellows, the light blues and the railroads. Your efforts to buy the greens and reds will be futile.
Soon, I will collect enough rent money to doughnate to our savior.
3. Changing our economy into a Monopoly economy
You think taxes are too high now, wait until I take $200 for Income Tax and $75 for Luxury Tax.
4. Boring America to death
I will force America to play Monopoly until the record for longest game is broken, forcing America to play a 71-day game.
5. Sending America to jail
If anyone plays the shortest game of Monopoly possible, they will be sent to Jail without passing GO or collecting $200.
I have bad news America. You have let me control my own political party. Now I'm free to pursue my hidden agenda:
1. Forcing everyone to play Monopoly
This will turn America into Zombieland. Me being a long-time USWP member should have given this away.
2. Buying every property on the board, and taking all your money.
I already have Boardwalk and Park Place, the oranges, the yellows, the light blues and the railroads. Your efforts to buy the greens and reds will be futile.
Soon, I will collect enough rent money to doughnate to our savior.
3. Changing our economy into a Monopoly economy
You think taxes are too high now, wait until I take $200 for Income Tax and $75 for Luxury Tax.
4. Boring America to death
I will force America to play Monopoly until the record for longest game is broken, forcing America to play a 71-day game.
5. Sending America to jail
If anyone plays the shortest game of Monopoly possible, they will be sent to Jail without passing GO or collecting $200.
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Comments
Great article.
\o/
GOD, I LOVE MONOPOLY!
I WISH I WAS AN eAMERICAN!!!
I like the orange properties in Monopoly.
An😛
>"I already have Boardwalk and Park Place, the oranges, the yellows, the light blues and the railroads. Your efforts to buy the greens and reds will be futile."
Everyone knows the reds are the most valuable. It is statistically proven that the spot most landed on is one of the reds. I think it was Illinois...
Oranges are most landed on. Reds are second-most, but not as efficient as oranges because houses cost $150 each.
/proving my Monopoly nerd status.
Haha nice to see you taking a break from your regular serious articles. Voted
0.o
LIG! sign me up for your party! oh and i thought you were going to host a monopoly competition here at eRep im still waiting for it! i got dibbs on the dog 😛
awesome article btw <3
The second I read the title, I knew who wrote it 🙂
Ligtreb, don't call yourself a Monopoly nerd, because everything you're spouting off seems like common knowledge to me, so that makes me a Monopoly nerd too! XD
Been playing eRep for over a year.
71 days of Monopoly might actually be more entertaining.
Ligtreb kick my ass last time we played monopoly... 😑
I DEMAND A REMATCH!
@Joe Lansing -- the stuff I've mentioned is the basics, I know way more advanced than that 🙂
Find me on IRC sometime, we'll play.
@DK -- Granted, next time I'm free on IRC.
That was a good laugh. Thanks ligtreb.
And I thought this was going to be a sly criticism of Canada's monopoly on EDEN titanium production!
If you think you're the most obsessed with Monopoly, you're wrong. I play with lawsuits, insurence companies, and consant deals that are techniccally illigal.
I like Monopoly, so what now?
If only I had us cit..
Wait, does that mean I'm free from your rein of terror?
ROD DAMON WAS RIGHT.
\o/
ligtreb for prez!
My parents once held the record for the longest monopoly game played in an elevator. Then some Russian crazies beat them. No joke.
Good luck with the party, those are sound goals for our nation.
EVERYONE!
The railroads are most often landed on actually. And then the oranges, and then light blues.
You've convinced me lig!