Fake news from the New World

Day 1,489, 07:13 • Published in Hungary Hungary • by Nalaja
Romania applies for ABC membership.
After being familiarized to Baltic weather and climate and changing their spirit from the original tzuica to lakka, the Romanian population urges the government to apply for membership of the Baltic Alliance. Positive argument could be that nowadays Romania seems to be the ABC itself. Russians seem to also claim parts of the alliance (Riga, Romania).

Name of the alliance is about to change from ONE to TWO
ONE SG Avie announced that the serious inner debates about the Iran-Turkey issue resulted in a compromise among all members. According to this, the name of the alliance will be TWO, effective from 1 January. TWO stands for the most humble title: The World is Ours. Protesters immediately gathered in Ankara, and in a mass demonstration, Turkish people expresse😛 perhaps the World is yours but Al Jawf is Turkish and it will be Turkish forever (Warsaw, Poland - Ankara, Turkey).

French Toast reloaded?
A long ago dead French character was revived after three years before the coming congressional elections. He was really quite surprised that the American troops are still in French soil and started to protest that the alliance could not throw out the aggressors for more than 3 years. Locals assured him that the world is completely changed and the Americans are the liberators against the occupation of Poland (Orleans, American sector of France).

EDEN or HELL?
Officials in some EDEN capitals gave hints that the alliance should reflect the name change of the opposite side. A possible acronym could be HELL, perhaps meaning How Ever to Lose a Lot, but rather because the Hell is the only place on Earth where Turks, Bulgarians and Greeks could live in the some brotherhood (Edirne, Turkey).

Speed of light exceeded?
Speed of light, the fastest possible velocity according to the relativity theory, is questioned not only by the researchers of the RL CERN but also by the Bulgarian military. After successfully taking Little Poland this week, their advance to Silesia has stopped. From that time, their withdrawal to Bukovina, Southern Ukraine was at the speed of the light, as confirmed by the satellites of NASA. Giving up Little Poland, Volhynia and Galicia was so swift that locals are still blinking because of the light explosion (L'viv, Ukraine).