Join the new world

Previously on the eBachelorette Episode 2

HeapSeppo was at his weakest moment. He had just awoken from a deep slumber, traversed the snowy Swedish mountains, swam the Atlantic and was able to muster his last tear for his ex-love. He stormed onto the set. irule777 disappeared and hasn’t been back. eBachelorette producers had to call security to remove HeapSeppo after a huge struggle ensued until the beastily man crumpled to his knees when he was given a swift hit to the gut. The punch was the last straw.

Welcome back everybody! After a very intense episode 2 we are ready to rumble in the final episode of the eBachelorette!

There has been a few missing bodies since the interruption last episode. There still has been no sign of irule777 and due to a sudden bump in the ratings the ‘super awesome producers’ decided to bring back some suitors for more drama. Currently, Miss Mazzy has been pretty quiet and kept indoors the past couple weeks. We’re not sure if she was traumatized by the events of that night or if she is really re-considering this show altogether!

I hope its just the former because eRepublik television, with Full Collapse productions, received 2.4 million viewers! Most of the viewers were based out of Brazil, Ukraine, Argentina and Ajay’s Headquarters: Pizza Hut.



But no matter we are back! Mazzy, are you ready for the suitors to present their eDate plans they made especially for you?

Mazzy_Cat (MC): Absolutely, Wooky! I hope they put a lot of thought and effort into sweeping me off my paws. 😉

WookyJack (WJ): How are you feeling since the last episode? Have you talked anything out with Seppo?

MC: Seppo and I are speaking, but not like that. Really it’s all a bit private, you know?

WJ: So, are you saying there’s still something there?

MC: Lol.. We are just friends these days.

WJ: Well, thats good for the suitors’ case! I know Custer would like to see more drama unfold! We recently had a return of an old face. greeling is back in the mix. After getting the boot the producers felt this show STILL needed more greeling! Are you ready for the rumble!?

MC: More Greeling?!

WJ:I know. Can you believe it? Anyways, we broke the box office record of something important in the erepublik world and it has come down to the final showdown between the suitors. They burn for you. They pine...who will perish?

We find out right now!

Aramec

I'd take her to one of my personal favorite places to go: a pet store. We could look at all the fuzzy animals together, and then go and get some frozen yogurt and take a walk. Just something nice, easy, and simple. Where we could both talk with one another.

IndexInfinity

It'll be on a boat in the Seine with kittens running about. The boat will be candlelit, with music and a large wooden space for dancing. Paris is absolutely beautiful at night, and is still relatively tranquil. We'd have a nice dinner, fancy but not over the top. There would be dancing, city gazing, and a comfortable atmosphere to talk and get to know each other better.

Trekker

eDate with Miss Mazzy:

1. Late afternoon (5:30ish). Sunny day, with temperate weather.

2. Trekker shows up riding a Harley (1989 low-rider blue frame custom, with moderately extended handle bars and a couple grand in chrome.)

3. Trekker unmounts bike and puts kickstand up. He is wearing denim shorts (as he refuses to wear pants), combat boots (scuffed), a “The Band” t-shirt, a denim vest, 7 of his 10 tattoos are showing, ass length brown hair tied back so it won’t get in Miss Mazzy’s face, and beard properly groomed into magnificence.

4. Trekker meets Mazzy at door with a dozen pink roses he delicately pulls from his saddlebag. And compliments her on how stunning she is.

5. They mount the bike and take a nice long scenic cruise (Trekker pictures this along the ocean and driving in and out of all the little coastal towns, but curvy mountain roads would be good too)

6. As the sun is getting ready to set, they would find a cute little mom and pop restaurant overlooking the water to have a nice dinner and watch the sunset. It would seem random (but Trekker will have scoped out all the local places in advance)

7. The restaurant would have a live band playing. And Trekker would sneakily determine Mazzy’s favorite song and bribe the band to play it.

8. After dinner Trekker would ask Miss Mazzy to take a walk with him along the beach.

9. As the stars fully shone he would put out a blanket on the sand so that they could lay down to star gaze and talk the night away. (When I saw star gaze and talk all night, I mean just that. Trekker is a gentleman.)


Uncle Shylock

OH.

I got it...

Step 1. Take her out to a nice Persian restaurant.
Step 2. Slip a roofie into her drink
Step 3. Say she must have fainted from the heat
Step 4. Stick her in the trunk of my car with a ball gag in her mouth and razor wire and rope around her legs and arms.
Step 5. Take her to my manshack in the middle of nowhere.
Step 6. Cut her to pieces whilst composing poetry.
Step 7. Donate her organs to "Make-A-Wish"
Step 8. Become uber successful
Step 9. Create a charity with her name
Step 10. Feel guilty and sob
Step 11. Get fired
Step 12. Die in a horrible automobile accident.

Melissa Rose

First I'll meet up with Mazzy on IRC with



To Start I will whisk her away to www.texasroadhouse.com for .
Next we'll see the videos of her choice on www.youtube.com. After the Video(s) I'll surprise her with a bottle of

and we’ll get drunk and lick peanut butter off of people while naked on IRC.

greeling

A date with Mazzy I couldn’t imagine a better person to go on with(excluding the Gosling)

First we would go get food, I of would take her to a very fancy sushi place where she could have anything she wanted, if sushi is not what she wants I have a back up plan the taco bell across the street is also a very fine place to eat.
After that you always want to go to a show and I’ll take her one place many other men would hate to go do, time to see the chippendales and I also got backstage passes.
After we spend our time there ogling the men we can just for a nice walk in the park and talk and stuff you know a lot about me, I’m still self centered but I’m trying, learned my mistake from last time.
When we are done with being out for the night we can head back over to your place and you can put on the…..well you know what I like and lets leave the details between you and me.



WJ: Wow, Mazzy, I am jealous of how much effort were put into the planning of these dates because the itinerary of each date looks like so much fun (except for maybe Uncle Shylock’s…)! But I’m not jelly of a choice you have to make this evening.

Now that you have heard all the suitors’ eDate plans what have you decided and who is the WINNER!?

MC:
6. Uncle Shylock

MC: Dude.. you killed me. Worst. Date. Ever.

5. IndexInfinity

MC: You had so many things right, but I abhor Paris.

4. Aramec

MC: I see what you were going for, Aramec. I appreciate that, but I really do want the GRAND date.

3. MelissaRose

MC: I love you, Mel. And I think having that sort of date with you would be totally fun. Except I want to have private time alone with my date.

2. Greeling

MC: Oh Greeling! I think we would have so much fun together!!! Just not on a date.. I think we would do way better as BFF’s than as GF/BF! Also - Taco Bell is ew.

1. Trekker

Wow! You blew me away, Trekker! The motorcycle, the consideration, the flowers, and just everything! WOW!!! I am so very flattered by the thought you put into our date! It makes me blush...



WJ: Oh my, she looks pretty smitten with you Trekker! That is a gorgeous rose you gave him. Congratulations on winning the eBachelorette, Trekker Tlumac!


$3,000 CC!

MC: I want to thank all the contestants! It’s been so much fun, and you all did amazingly well. My decision was NOT an easy one. (Except for Uncle Shylock... You killed me!) I’ll carry this in my heart forever. Meow! ♥